


Sunflower, Vols 1-5

by helladirections



Category: Fine Line - Harry Styles (Album), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bartender Harry Styles, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Singer-Songwriter Harry Styles, Song: Sunflower Vol. 6 (Harry Styles), THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, quarter life crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:47:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 37,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23691088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helladirections/pseuds/helladirections
Summary: Harry as a singer-songwriter type, working at the neighborhood bar in exchange for living space in the loft upstairs and performance time on the makeshift stage a few times a week.Y/N as his old friend from school growing up, back in her hometown going through a quarter life crisis and trying to prove to herself that she really can stand on her own two feet.Featuring: Friends to lovers, there was only one bed, and inspiration from the lyrics of Sunflower, Vol 6.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	1. Sunflower, Vol 1

Exhausted. Y/N was, simply put, exhausted.

Over the past two years, she had graduated college, gone on to live in three states, and worked four different jobs - all within what she thought was her dream career field. She was able to sign her own apartment lease, pay her own living expenses, and even have her own health insurance. Her friends and family were always telling her how proud they were, how excited they were that she was finally getting everything that she had always worked so hard for.

But somewhere in that time, things started to fall apart. Instead of actually using her degree, she was scheduling meetings and getting lunch for a horrible boss who spoke down to her. Instead of making change in the world, she was making changes to file names. Instead of going out with friends, she was going home to spend the evenings alone. It’s not that she expected to be doing anything too big right away, but the way things were going, it was likely she would be stuck on lunch duty for at least a few more years, and that’s just not something Y/N wanted for her life.

So she ended up back in her hometown – the one place she promised herself she would never land again. And in some sense, she still hadn’t landed there. Y/N had been back for some time already and nobody even knew. If the world didn’t know, then it wasn’t necessarily happening. If this was merely a pit stop before something bigger and better, then this temporary situation wasn’t even worth reporting on. It wasn’t a failure; it  _ couldn’t be  _ a failure. It was just a speed bump that she would gloss over in interviews until she had become so successful that this time period didn’t even matter anymore...she hoped. 

It was a Monday night and exactly three weeks to the day since she had moved back home. Frustrated with no response from job applications, Y/N decided her emotional and physical exhaustion warranted a visit to the neighborhood bar. She needed to get out of the house and feel a little less trapped, even just for a few hours. Her hair was a bit of a mess and her eyes were clearly sunken with fatigue, but she gathered her things and headed out anyway. 

Y/N had visited the bar a handful of times in years past, back when drinking alcohol legally was still new and exciting. It was small and cozy, tables made from dark wood and covered in a thin layer of typical bar stickiness. She figured it was the kind of place that college kids would visit during winter break or the small number of young professionals in town could go to blow off some steam after work. Essentially, it was the perfect place to be invisible and drink cheap alcohol.

The place was mostly empty on the random Monday night. A handful of people sat at tables, most quietly chatting and sharing snacks. Just one person was sitting up at the bar itself. The lights were dim enough that it was difficult to make out individual faces but bright enough to see to the other side of the room. The wooden counter was freshly wiped down with a rag, and the stools rested on legs that weren’t entirely even. It was comfortable and quiet, and Y/N felt like she could finally breathe for a moment. 

“I’ll take whatever cider you have on ta-” Y/N didn’t finish her sentence before looking up and seeing a familiar face in front of her. 

His rich brown hair had grown a bit longer, shoulders a bit broader, and there was a dusting of stubble around his chin - but there was no mistaking the boy in front of her. She could recognize those deep green eyes anywhere. 

“Sorry ma’am, I’m going to have to see your ID.” Harry gave her one of his signature smirks, dimples just barely coming through. 

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Hi Harry. You know we’re the same age, you knob.” 

He gave a bit of a chuckle before turning to fill up her glass from the tap. The sight in front of her was nothing new. Y/N had seen Harry handing out beer plenty of times, but only when it wasn’t legal yet, only when it made him just dangerous enough to get the attention of the pretty girls at school. And up until now, Y/N had always refused. This time he wore a white collared shirt with the first two buttons open revealing what looked to be a tattoo. It wasn’t so dangerous anymore, but Y/N couldn’t quite shake that familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach - the same one she got when he offered her drinks in high school.

“Didn’t know you were back in town,” he mused, as he slid the drink in front of her. 

“I didn’t know you were in town either,” she countered. “I thought you were planning to transfer.”

He gave a noncommittal shrug. “You know Tom was in here the other day. Tom V, from seventh grade English class?” 

Y/N gave a nod as she took a healthy gulp of her drink.

“Said he was just around for a short visit - something about moving up north to do HR for a biomedical company.” 

“Oh yeah? Haven’t heard from him in ages.” It was true. Y/N had cut out most of her friends and acquaintances from home when she went to college. For the select few that she did stay in touch with, they would go months without speaking. It was ok because they would always pick up right where they left off, as if nothing had passed. Harry was someone she would reach out to when she was visiting family for holidays or birthdays or vacation - but not anything in between. The first few times they were both home from college at the same time they had met up for lunch, but since graduation, he had begun to fade out of her mind. 

For a moment, he didn’t respond. His eyes searched hers, as if looking for a deeper response, but she offered up nothing except another sip of her drink. 

“I haven’t heard from you in ages, either.” 

She paused, mid-sip, and put her drink back on the counter before waiting a beat to look back up at him. 

“You uh... you’re not alone in that,” she finally admitted. “Didn’t really tell anyone I was back.” Her words hung there in the air for a moment, neither completely sure how to follow up. “Have you been back in town long?” 

For the first time probably ever in a social situation, she actually saw him falter a bit. “Never really left, actually,” he admitted with a sigh. He pulled a bar rag out of his pocket and started to wipe off his work area, just to give himself something to do, some way to distract.

“Didn’t have the best test scores and all that so I was at community college. Planned on transferring, thought maybe my music would take me somewhere, But...” he trailed off, not sure how to finish, not sure if he’s really trying to convince her or himself that he had dreams and goals. “But I got stuck. Eventually landed here - owner lets me live in the loft upstairs and take a few nights on the stage in exchange for some work. ‘S not the worst gig I’ve had.” 

He offers up a small, forced smile paired with wrinkles on his forehead. 

Y/N was unphased. “You’ve always been so talented, I’m not surprised,” she admitted. “Won some talent shows back in the day, didn’t ya?”

He chuckles, feeling his cheeks warm slightly at the reminder. “Yeah, back in my prime... eleven years old.” 

It wasn’t until that moment that Y/N realized how long she and Harry had truly known each other. Try as she might, she couldn’t actually remember when they first met. He had been a fixture in her life - the background of many memories and the focal point of others. They shared classes, worked on assignments, and for a short time were in the same lunch group. He lived at the other end of the school zone, but was best friends with her neighbor around the corner so he just seemed to always be around. The first time Y/N had been offered alcohol in high school, it was from him - though she declined his offer multiple times. He joined lunchtime clubs at random (a founding member of Taco club and also welcomed into Robotics club for a short stint). Harry was everywhere. He was a constant. 

Before she had a chance to take the conversation any further, they were interrupted by her phone’s loud vibration. She took a look and rolled her eyes, putting her phone back into her purse and moving to take a big drink of her cider.

“Sorry, that’s my parents. Want me to pick up some bread at the store,” she chuckled. He gave her a sympathetic look as she dug through her purse. But when she pulled out her wallet, he stopped her. 

“This one’s on me,” he told her. “Makes up for all those times you told me no for a drink in high school.”

“That’s because we were eighteen, Harry. It was  _ illegal,”  _ she teased. 

He just responded with one of his signature smirks and found a new way to busy his hands so she literally couldn’t give him her card. 

“Fine, but I owe you.”

He shook his head. “Y’don’t owe me anything,” he insisted. “But,” he paused a moment, clearly thinking something through. She recognized that look on his face and knew it often meant trouble. “If you really want to do something for me, come back tomorrow. It’s a show night and the audience has been a little bare lately. Could use the company so ‘m not just singing to myself.” 

**.** **.** **.**

Tuesday nights were show nights. That meant Harry had Niall taking his shifts behind the bar and the freedom to do as he pleased during the day - usually time spent preparing new songs for that evening's performance. Although Harry supposed “performance” might be a strong word. Not really performing if no one is watching, and more often than not the few straggling customers hardly paid him any attention and definitely didn’t qualify as a true audience. 

Harry wasn’t entirely sure why he had asked Y/N to come back that evening. Couldn't remember the last time he asked an old school friend to watch him. Although to be fair, any old school friends he ran into were typically in town for short visits and didn’t have the time in between seeing family and friends to spend a few hours in the neighborhood bar acting as the lone audience member. 

But he did ask her to come back, and, for some reason, he was nervous. Really nervous. Y/N had heard him play and sing dozens of times before: talent shows, eighth grade graduation, senior showcase; but this felt different. All those times he was just a kid doing something for fun. He would play his favorite song from the radio or something he overheard older kids talking about, even if he needed to use overly simplified chords and sing way out of his range. Now he was taking this seriously, he was trying to go somewhere with his music. Harry hoped that eventually, after enough practice, his music could be the thing to finally get him out of this town. He chose his songs more strategically, looked for things that would show off his range. Often picked obscure artists so the audience couldn't compare his voice directly to the original. About once a month he forced himself to play an original song just to get in the practice. 

So he spent most of the morning and afternoon holed up in the loft practicing the same songs over and over ad nauseam. He made sure to play his best set of songs so he would be less likely to make any noticeable mistakes on stage - not that he had made one in ages. He took a nice long shower, complete with a new pomegranate scented body scrub and lotion. Typically he would go downstairs just a few minutes before he was allowed to start playing wearing whatever he had been lounging around in that day, but this time he spent some time looking through this wardrobe and picking out the perfect jacket to make him look like some kind of professional. 

Desperately, Harry was trying to convince himself that he wasn’t trying to impress Y/N. It didn’t make sense why he would anyway. But he had to resign himself to the reality that he was anxious about seeing her or, more accurately, about her seeing him. 

Back in school, he remembered her bright smile always on her face. It was a comforting aspect to his every day routine. When the teacher was yelling? Y/N found something to giggle about. When the donut club ran out of donuts? Y/N smiled while giving each of her friends a piece of her cookie. She was kind to a fault, overly apologetic, and always polite. She made the room brighter wherever she went, and Harry realized now that he never told her how much he appreciated it. Even last night she had a smile on her face - albeit a more subdued one. So with that in mind, he chose a pale yellow suit. Figured it would brighten the room if she didn’t show up, but also make her smile extra wide if she did. 

He made his way downstairs with an extra spring in his step, getting eyed heavily by Niall when he walked out from the staircase behind the bar and towards the stage at the front of the room. Guitar in hand, he took a seat on the stool in front of the microphone which he always insisted be set out for him even though his voice could easily be heard at a normal level. In his yellow outfit, clearly overdressed compared to the patrons and other staff, Harry took a breath before searching around for Y/N. 

She hadn’t shown yet. It was only 2 minutes past the hour, so she easily could still be on her way, but he felt his stomach fall as he tried to accept that she likely wasn’t going to show. Without any kind of introduction he hooked up his guitar to the small amp and started to play his first song. 

He knew he was playing well, but he also knew he wasn’t playing his best. Which made no logical sense seeing as he had spent most of the day practicing and was super confident before walking downstairs. 

It was about halfway through the song when that changed. And as much as Harry didn’t want to admit it, it was clear that the reason he stepped up his game was that he spotted Y/N walk through the door. She was hesitant when the door first opened, phone in hand and looking around before finding Harry sitting and playing up front. She gave him one of those signature smiles that he loved, lighting up the room for him more than she could ever know. 

She stood tall with her spine straight as she made her way to the bar, ordering a drink from Niall and taking a moment to chat before finding her place at a table right in front of Harry. He made a note to himself to make sure that Niall wouldn’t charge her for anything tonight - Harry would foot the bill if need be. 

He kept playing. He felt like he never wanted to stop playing if she was going to be sitting there looking at him like she was. Never once did she frown, not for a moment did her confidence waiver (a rarity for a girl who had a tendency to try and make herself small back in school). She sat in her seat swaying to his music, munching on some chips and sipping her drink. Harry loved every second of it. 

Y/N wasn’t sure what it was that made her actually come back tonight. When he asked her last night, she had shrugged and said “maybe,” not really thinking anything of it. But she had also been cooped up all day in her room at her parents house applying for more of the same jobs she had been going at for months now, and she knew that she needed the break. 

And he was good. Like, really good. Better than she remembered, and she remembered him being good. 

Closing out his set, Harry sang an original song - something he tried to force himself to do on occasion so he would get used to singing his own lyrics in front of strangers. But oddly enough, it wasn’t the strangers that made him nervous this time. It was Y/N. She knew him, she saw deeper into him than the middle-aged drunk man at the bar or the group of three 30-somethings at the booth in the back. At the very last second, he changed the song from one about his last breakup to one a bit more upbeat, irrelevant lyrics that he just thought sounded good together. 

“Thanks for lending me your ears tonight,” he spoke into the microphone after his final song faded out. “My name is Harry Styles and I’m here every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday evening. Thanks and goodnight.” 

No sooner had Harry taken off his guitar strap than did Y/N come bouncing up to him, smiling wide. It was contagious and he couldn’t help but mirror her as she gave him a quick hug. 

“You were so good! Like I knew you were good, but you were so amazing.” He soaked up her words, loving the praise. Typically he would get half hearted claps from two or three people when he finished a set, but he was so enamored with Y/N’s words. 

“Thank you,” he gave her a chuckle. “Didn’t play anything new tonight but I think it went alright.” Harry shrugged, looking around the room and trying to gauge reactions of the other patrons. They were all back in their conversations or had their faces in their phones, so he figured he was safe to make his exit. 

He took a look at his watch before turning back to Y/N, “Hey it’s still pretty early, why don’t you come upstairs with me for a bit? Could use some company away from this bar.” 

A little hesitant, Y/N faltered and checked her phone. He was right - it was barely 8:00 PM and she didn't want to go back home quite yet. But being alone with Harry had never gone the way she hoped in the past. 

“Up to your room?”

He raised one eyebrow. “I mean it’s a loft so yeah just one big room. Come on you can bring your drink up with you,” he motioned towards her glass, still half full. 

“Alright, but I’m just going to have the one,” she decided. 

Y/N followed Harry towards the back of the bar and behind the counter, stopping when he made sure Niall didn’t charge her for the drink before leading her up the stairs in the back and through his door. Behind him on the stairs, she found herself staring at the way his ass curved perfectly against the seams of his pants. When they got back to level ground she did her best to keep her eyes away from him. 

“It’s not much, but it does the trick,” he called back to her as he walked to the other side of the room. 

She could get a good look around while he put away his guitar, allowing her to continue to avoid eye contact. They were close to the roof with the ceiling peaking not far above them. Familiar scented candles and wooden support beams made the room feel cozy and warm. At one end was a small kitchen, a TV, and about half of a sectional sofa. At the other, a large cozy looking bed rested up against a window, night time stars visible in the distance. The corner near Harry’s bed was filled with books - surprising to Y/N as she remembered him not being particularly interested in English class at any point in school. Up on the wall was a collection of pictures and Y/N couldn’t help but snoop a little bit. 

Some of the photos contained recognizable faces - friends they shared in school as well as friends of his that wouldn’t have stepped within 6 feet of Y/N. Most of the images seemed pretty old, coated with dust and a bit faded. Much of the scenery was familiar - their high school parking lot, the Starbucks downtown, the central park a few towns over with a large meadow. 

The room was quiet and Y/N didn’t notice Harry had finished putting his guitar away and was looking back at her, watching her take in the space.

“There’s one of you up there, if you look hard enough.” The sudden noise made Y/N jump a bit and Harry couldn't help but let out a breathy laugh. He walked towards her and pointed to a photo towards the top of the wall. “From prom, senior year,” he explained. He shook his head to himself, realizing how stupid it was to explain. Obviously she remembered going to prom and taking those silly photos. Harry had been there with a date, his girlfriend at the time. Y/N had gone alone with a group of friends, and spent most of her time taking silly pictures with old friends rather than dancing. 

This photo in question was one of her favorites too - it featured a small group of her friends from classes, mostly blurry as they were laughing at something someone had said. She couldn't remember anymore what the joke might’ve been, but she remembered the moment fondly with a warmth in her heart. 

“My mom made me wear heels that night,” she remarked. “Haven’t touched them since.” 

Harry first responded with a noncommittal hum. “You always manage to hold yourself up tall anyway,” he told her. 

Y/N turned to him, looking a bit confused. 

“Confident, you’re always so confident. Don’t need to be any taller, I mean.” 

She nodded, understanding as she turned her attention to the shelves of books below the pictures. Some were clearly old text books and required reading, but the shelves also contained books by Charles Bukowski, Haruki Murakami, and Joan Didion. An interesting mixture. Y/N let her fingertips graze along some of the books’ spines. Most were fairly worn, appearing that he had read the books through many times. At the end of the shelf was a stack of leather bound journals, but when her fingers reached those he jumped. 

“Those are personal,” he gave as his only explanation. 

Y/N gave a nod, removing her hand from the stack. “Do you write a lot?”

He walked back towards his couch, nodding with his head so Y/N would follow. “Quite a bit, I’d say. Mostly lyrics, ideas for songs. Take a seat, lemme change my shirt and I’ll grab some snacks,” he told her, wandering past her towards the kitchen. 

Y/N let her eyes wander around the room, partially still looking for clues about his life, but mostly to keep herself from staring at his honey golden skin and broad shoulders. She was unsuccessful in that endeavour, as she couldn’t help but peak over towards Harry standing near his closet shirtless. It was impossible not to get sucked into thoughts of how soft his skin must be, how strong his muscles must feel now that he’s filled out a bit more. But it was the tattoos littered across his chest and arms that truly caught her off guard. She shouldn’t be surprised, he had always been rather impulsive and just the tiniest bit dangerous.

“Tattoos?” she remarked simply. 

Harry held his left arm out towards her, turning it a bit and admiring the black ink. “Yeah, got one and then I just couldn’t stop, I suppose.” He gave a little chuckle before throwing a basic white t-shirt on over his head. In addition to his open arms, Y/N could see the ink on his chest through his shirt if she looked hard enough. Not that she did. Not that she meant to. 

“So how long have you been living here?” she asked, desperate to change the subject away from his body.

“Hm... ‘bout a year and a half, I’d say? Finished up school and spent a few months looking for a place before finding this one. It’s been a pretty nice gig.” He walked back over, a bowl of chips in one hand and a beer in the other. 

Y/N thanked him for the chips with a smile, grabbing a few and putting her drink down on the coffee table. “Oh, you graduated? What did you end up studying?”

Harry could feel warmth in his cheeks at her question. He thought by now - almost two years since he should’ve graduated - he would've gotten more used to answering the question. “Nah, I didn’t finish. Took some music classes, writing classes, English classes obviously. Thought about transferring but it never panned out. I like to learn and all, but you remember - school just isn’t exactly my thing, not like you.”

“Like me?”

“Yeah, weren’t you like, straight A’s? Good SATs and all that?”

She couldn't help but laugh. “Not quite. Got some B’s, didn’t go to an Ivy or anything.” 

“But you went. You got out of this town and you studied and you graduated,” he countered. 

And she knew Harry was right. She had gotten out of their hometown - a place notorious for holding people hostage and keeping them there. She had countless memories while still in high school of hearing from many of her friends’ older siblings and parents. Stories of waking up one morning realizing they weren't really chasing any kind of dreams. They got caught up in something local and accidentally built a life there until there was no logistical way they could actually leave. Maybe they and their high school sweetheart had a baby, or they got a good paying job out of high school so they took it out of fear that another opportunity would never come about. 

“I did,” she relented with a sigh. “But I’m back.... I’m back.” 

They sat for some time catching up and revealing how they landed where they were. Both had big dreams in high school, even in their college years. She wanted to move across the country and make a difference. He wanted to play music and was hoping for a record deal in the near future. Neither of them had given up their dreams so much as they simply hit a roadblock, and now here they were, feeling unsuccessful and trapped with no clear way out. 

“Honestly Harry, you’re so talented. Music is definitely going to be your ticket out. I know it. Get an agent and a record deal in no time and never look back,” she told him, like a promise. 

Harry shrugged. “Maybe. But you made it to the city once, you’ll get out again too,” he assured her, taking a sip of his beer. “You’re smart, and strong, and you always figure something out. And if none of that helps, just flash them that smile and they’ll be putty in your hands.”

“My smile?” she laughed, a bit caught off guard.

Harry furrowed his brows. “Yeah, that famous Y/N smile. It’s so bright and you carry yourself so tall - confident,” he corrected himself again. “You’re like... like a sunflower,” he concluded, taking another drink to punctuate his point.

“A sunflower....” Y/N seemed to be thinking it over. She had never particularly loved flowers, but sunflowers were objectively nice. 

“Yeah, “ Harry continued. “They make everyone around them smile back, even when they don't want to. They might struggle from time to time in different seasons, but they always grow back, every year. You’re the same.”

Y/N could only respond with a small hum. There were definitely worse things to be directly compared to. Sunflowers weren’t so bad. 

“My ‘famous smile’ though? I had braces for like four years,” she reminded him. 

He cracked a bit of a smirk. “Yeah, looked right cute on you though. Remember you used to brush your teeth at lunch.”

“That was a secret!” She put her hand on her heart, in mock offense (and chose to completely ignore the fact that he had called her “cute” in any context). 

“How was it a secret? You had a tooth brush in your backpack and always smelled minty in History class.” 

**. . .**

They sat on the small couch, in relative silence as their movie faded out to black. The bowl of chips was empty and both Harry and Y/N had indulged in a second beer. 

“I bet you’re fun drunk,” Harry let out suddenly. “Never would take a beer from me, bet that’s ‘cuz you go a bit too crazy” he teased with a quirk in his lip.

“That’s because it was illegal! We were like, 16 Harry.” 

Of course, she was such a good girl, at least back in the day. “Always the rule follower.” 

She rolled her eyes. “For your information, yes, I am a very fun drunk person. Go to bars and dance and everything... and then I get really sleepy and cling to anyone willing to cuddle me,” Y/N admitted. 

Harry couldn't lie, he liked the sound of that. He couldn’t help but picture her downstairs, drunk and dancing on a Friday or Saturday night, smile bright and laugh contagious, having fun for a few hours before coming upstairs and cuddling in his cozy bed for the night. 

He also knew Y/N well, and he knew that she only divulged real information when it was a way to hide something else. She was the queen of giving others a false sense of knowing her. She would complain openly about her period but never fully explained when she would stay home sick for more than a week at a time. She would reveal the crazy story of her first kiss, unprompted, but refuse to share with anyone at all who she had a crush on. Or maybe, as he had theorized once when they were around 15, she only told others who she liked because it was actually him. Queen of contradictions, she was. 

Looking back up at her, Harry noticed the exhaustion in Y/N’s eyes, making him feel softer than usual. Whatever was going on in his head, this was new. He had known Y/N for ages and had never thought about dancing together or cuddling or stroking his fingers through her hair... 

As if on cue, Y/N let out a yawn. “Should probably get going, been up late the last few nights applying for jobs,” she admitted.

That was no surprise. She had always been high achieving in and out of school. Always a hard worker. He remembered her often complaining after getting a test back that her true downfall was staying up  _ too _ late studying the night before and not getting enough rest to let the information really sink in. She contained a power and a confidence in her work and herself which he often envied. Whatever she was applying for, he was completely sure she would get it. 

Harry watched as she grabbed her purse and coat, and he picked up her now empty glass from downstairs. “Come on, I’ll walk ya down.”

He let her lead the way, eyes focused on the way her hair fell softly on her shoulders, not able to control the thoughts swirling around his head. He should've asked her to stay the night. It had been a long time since they’d seen each other, sure, but they’d known each other almost their entire lives. It wouldn't have been that strange. Would she share the bed with him or insist on taking the couch? She’s always overly polite and concerned for others. She would look so good in his t-shirt and sweats. She must be a soft and pliable cuddler, probably had the cutest bedhead in the mornings. 

Shaking the thoughts away, he placed the empty glass in the sink behind the bar and signalled to Niall that it was there.

“Hey, ‘m not your personal dishwasher, Styles,” he called back. 

Y/N’s smile grew brighter at their banter, and Harry didn’t want to look away.

He held his hands in his pockets in order to keep himself from guiding her with one on her back or around her shoulder. He wasn’t sure what had gotten into him, but he needed to control himself. They reached the front door and Harry made Y/N promise to text him when she got home. They hadn’t texted in ages, but he confirmed that she still had his number before he hugged her goodbye and watched her walk to her car and take off. 

He hummed to himself as he went back inside, walking back behind the bar and up the stairs again.  _ Sunflower,  _ he thought to himself.  _ My sunflower.  _


	2. Sunflower, Vol 2

Y/N went back to the bar on Thursday evening. 

Harry hadn’t exactly asked her to, but she couldn't help it. Spending time outside the house and with someone who was so genuinely kind, someone who knew her backstory and was accepting of her, someone who was supportive no matter what - it felt nice. And she deserved to feel nice every once in a while.

After ordering her same drink from Niall at the bar, she made her way over to the table at the front of the room where she had sat on Tuesday. Harry looked a bit surprised to see her there and almost missed a chord in his song before picking it back up. Instead of a nice suit jacket like last time, he was wearing a knitted cream sweater. He looked cozy and soft, and Y/N couldn’t help but let herself linger a bit when she hugged him after his set was complete.

“Glad to see I didn’t scare ya off,” he laughed.

She shook her head. “Harry, if you were going to scare me off you would’ve done it years ago at Sarah Goldberg’s Bat MItzvah when you left me out in the cold without any shoes.” 

His eyes widened and his brow furrowed, words seemingly caught in his throat.

“It’s fine, H. Just teasing.” 

She came on Saturday, just to chat while he was behind the bar. Then, she went back on Sunday to see him perform again. On Monday she sent him a text, asking when his shift would start so she could come by. He reminded her that he literally lives there, and she can come whenever she wants. She came in the afternoon and brought her notebook with her so they could brainstorm possible career tracks for her together. 

Y/N really tried not to get too attached to Harry too quickly. But on Tuesday she came in the morning, this time with her whole computer. When she tried to walk back behind the bar, she was stopped.

“He’s not ‘ere,” Niall told her. 

“Oh. I thought... ok nevermind.” Y/N started to turn around before he looked up. 

“Oh, ‘s you. You can wait down here if y’like. He should be back soon. Just went to get coffee, I think he said.” 

She crinkled her brows as she looked back at the empty bar. Niall had just finished cleaning it and was busy with the dishes. Taking a seat on the last stool, she pulled out her phone and looked at the time. It was still relatively early in the day. Maybe she should’ve texted before just coming over. But on Monday he had said she could come whenever she likes so she just kind of assumed...

“So, you’ve known Harry for very long?” Niall asked, approaching the bar again and throwing his dish rag over his shoulder.

Y/N looked up from her phone. “Yeah, you could say that. Since elementary school, I suppose.”

“Hmm.” He rested his arms on the back of the bar, nodding his head towards her computer. “And y’brought that whole thing for a hookup?” 

Eyes wide, Y/N responded quickly. “Oh, no, no, no. I’m not... I mean we’re not... I mean I thought one time but-”

“Howdy do!” Never more relieved to hear Harry’s voice and silly little welcome, she was cut off before she could dig herself into a deeper hole.

She looked over where Harry was walking towards them as Niall shrugged and headed back to work preparing the bar. She noticed he had two drinks in his hands.

“Yeah, one’s for you.” He carefully weighed them between his hands to figure out which one he had already drank from before extending the fuller one towards Y/N.

“Oh,” she took the cup from him. “What uh... what did you get for me?”

His smile was proud as he took a sip of his own drink before responding. “Something sugary and sweet. Didn’t know what y’like but I thought some caramel was probably a safe guess.”

Y/N took a drink. “I usually go for mochas but this is really good, H. Thanks,” she gave him a soft smile. “I didn’t even tell you I was coming by.”

Harry shrugged, “Just had a hunch, I suppose.”

For the rest of that morning and early afternoon, she sat on the sofa working on her cover letter while Harry took up space on his bed, trying to fix the melody for a new song. Y/N enjoyed the background noise he offered, though she couldn’t quite figure out what his process was and what kind of song he was writing. Occasionally, he would read some lyrics out loud or sing them multiple times in a row and Y/N would give a comment of “I like that,” or correct his grammar or offer a synonym. It was a nice tune and made for a pleasant atmosphere in which to try and make big decisions about her own future. 

Every once in a while she would speak up, saying a job title or an organization outloud, maybe weighing the pros and cons of working in this city or that, what kind of effect the position might have on her resume in the future. Sometimes Harry would offer a question here or there, “well what are some of your strongest skills?” or “how does that position help you to achieve your goal?” But mostly, he just let her talk outloud to herself. It was nice to feel like someone was listening, even a little bit.

That night was one of the best sets Harry had ever played. Y/N took her seat at the usual table right in front, cheering him on and smiling as he belted out a ballad or hit a high note. She stuck around after it was over so they could chat over some drinks upstairs, but she felt guilty that she was wasting time that she could be using to apply to more jobs.

“Lemme ask you something,” Harry started, putting his beer bottle down on the coffee table. They sat on the couch together, him with his legs spread on the floor and her curled up and leaning against the back. “Why do you push yourself so much? You never let yourself rest. Why don’t you ever take a break?”

She nodded her head as she tried to process how she wanted to answer. He was right - she did push herself really hard. She quit all of her after school activities to study for the SATs, then she joined too many clubs in college because she thought they would look good on her resume. And even with 4 different jobs in 3 different states, she hadn’t taken more than 2 weeks off in between each of her endeavors until now. 

“What’s that joke about the guy who worked hard because he took Viagra?” Y/N teased before taking another sip of her drink.

Harry couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh, but he knew what she was doing - changing the subject with an outlandish comment that would make him feel like she was revealing something. 

“But really, Y/N, why do you do this to yourself? You’re so tired all the time; I can see it in your eyes even when you smile.”

She let out a sigh, hoping if she waited long enough to respond he would break the silence himself and reveal that he was trying to make a joke too. “You’re right,” she finally conceded. “I do work too hard. And I know I do it, and objectively, I know it’s bad. But up until now everything has kind of worked out pretty well, so why change my strategy?”

It was a start, but Harry could still see that there was something deeper brewing in her mind. “But your strategy stopped working, didn’t it? What are you so afraid of?”

The room was quiet again. Y/N knew Harry was right, but she didn’t have an answer to the question. Not a real one anyway. Not one that she could share and feel ok about saying out loud. Luckily, Harry could see the turmoil in her face and was far too kind a person to let her sit with that for very long.

“You need a break. I’m taking you on a break,” he announced with a slap of the couch between them. “I’ve got the day off tomorrow. Meet me here around noon, I’m taking you somewhere.”

**.** **.** **.**

“Don’t you need to like... plan these things? Where are we going? What are we doing? Am I even wearing the right clothes?”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh as he waved her concerns. “Y’look great, babe. Come on, put on this backpack and we can hop on my bike.” 

“You mean you’re taking me somewhere, you won’t tell me where, and you’re making _me_ carry the backpack? This thing is huge!”

He chuckled a bit at her reaction and started leading the way. “Most of the space is just a jacket, alright? It’s not that heavy, come on.”

Everything about Y/N made Harry feel bright and happy at this point, even when she groaned and complained that “things don’t just _happen,_ Harry. We need to prepare sometimes.” But the cutest thing of all? Y/N’s look of shock and near terror when they rounded the corner to where Harry’s motorcycle was parked, and she realized that “bike” did not mean bicycle. 

“Oh no. No no no no no no.” She physically backed away from the motorcycle, onto the sidewalk until she was completely backed up against the building. Her hand was out in front of her like she was trying to push the thing away from her. 

He shook his head with a smile.

“Those things are _dangerous_ Harry! We could _die!”_

Harry walked towards her, taking one of her hands in his and looking softly into her eyes in a way that could always make a person melt. Call it a party trick or a special talent, but he only whipped it out when he really needed it. 

“Y/N,” he started. “I have an extra helmet for you and you’ll hold on tight. You’ll be fine. We’ll both be fine. We aren’t even going that far.”

She faltered a bit, trying hard not to give in but he could see Y/N softening her resolve. “How far? Where are we going?”

“I’m not telling you, that would ruin the surprise. Now come on, we haven’t got all day.” 

Harry walked back off the sidewalk and mounted the bike, putting his own helmet on before looking back towards Y/N. “Are you coming?” 

She bit her lip, bouncing between her feet for a moment as if thinking it over. He recognized the look in her eyes and knew her mind must be spinning in circles. 

With a sigh, he got off the bike, placed the helmet directly on her head, and grabbed Y/N’s wrist bringing her directly to the motorcycle. He hopped on again but this time did not release her hand. 

“Come on, up you go,” he told her. And even through her hesitation she followed. “Is the helmet snug?” he asked. 

She shook her head to test it before nodding. 

“And you’ve got the backpack with our supplies?” 

Another nod. 

“Ok, you put your feet just...there. And your hands go... here. And you hold on tight, ok? I won't let anything happen to you.” 

It was a bold promise, he knew. But he meant it. 

Hesitantly, she followed his directions and held on for dear life. Every muscle in her body was telling her how stupid this idea was. She was on a fucking _motorcycle._ They don’t just look dangerous and sexy, they actually _are_ really dangerous. 

“If we die, I’m going to kill you, Styles,” she mumbled after the engine started up. She felt his body rattle as he laughed and did everything she could to seem annoyed.

“Well we don’t want that now, do we.”

Y/N let out a little gasp when he revved the engine, and the bike began to move beneath her. It was a strange feeling, the rumbling she could feel between her legs, the high speeds they were going with no sort of seat belt or protection. But the way her hair blew in the wind and the adrenaline coursing through her veins? She could see why Harry might be drawn to this sort of thing. 

At one point she tried to talk to him, but it was clear that he couldn’t hear her through the wind and his helmet. She was finally starting to calm down a bit, feel a little more secure that maybe he wasn’t actually trying to kill her. Then they hit a pothole causing them both to jump a bit. She shrieked just loud enough for him to hear, and squeezed even tighter around his body, resting her head against his back as an additional precaution.

Everything around her was loud, but she could hear his heartbeat and his breathing. Y/N tried to be sly when readjusting her hands and taking the opportunity to feel how strong his muscles were beneath his shirt. His stomach was firm and strong, but soft enough to squeeze onto, and she didn’t want to ever have to let go. If he noticed she was feeling him up, he didn’t let on. Her stomach was doing somersaults, though she wasn’t sure if it was due to the danger and rebelliousness of the motorcycle or the closeness she felt with Harry in that moment. 

And it wasn’t just the closeness that got to her; it was the fact that she honestly felt safer than she thought she would. Physically, he was blocking most of the wind from her and driving them safely from one place to another. He was the only thing securing her to a high speed moving object, especially when he would take a turn and the only thing anchoring her to the bike was her arms, tight around his middle. But metaphorically, she felt like he could keep her safe from whatever was coming their way. He made her feel protected and powerful at the same time. Like she could do anything. And maybe it was because she was on a motorcycle for the first time and it felt like a real act of rebellion, but more likely, she thought, it was just him.

Just as she was about to nudge Harry and ask how much further they were going (he _promised_ it wouldn’t be very far), Y/N spotted a somewhat familiar parking lot outlined by an arrangement of identical trees. She had forgotten that this place existed - the central city park two towns over. She had been here with family for picnics but not much else. However, she knew Harry had come here plenty with his friends when they were younger. 

Harry pulled into a spot in the shade smoothly, smiling as he turned off the engine. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” He patted her hands, still clasped together tight around his waist. 

Slowly she released them and slid off the bike, letting out a small sigh when her feet hit the ground. 

“We didn’t die,” she relented. 

She sounded grumpy, but he knew it was an act. And he knew he would have no problem getting her back on the bike later. 

He stuffed his keys into his pockets with one hand, and reached for the backpack Y/N was carrying with his other. With both occupied, he was able to hold back from guiding her from her lower back, or holding hands with their fingers intertwined. 

They walked across the length of the park, and he let her talk to him about some of the recent jobs she had applied to. When they got to a clear edge, a sign stood up warning that they were leaving city property, but he continued past it and into a collection of trees. 

“Uh, Harry? I don’t think we’re supposed to go over here.”

“Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing,” he assured her. “Come on.” 

Y/N was still standing back near the sign, swaying on her feet like she had been before getting on the bike earlier. Harry let out a breath and reached his hand towards her, grabbing at the air to get her to follow him. 

“Come on then, you don’t have to be a good girl 100% of the time. You’re an adult; break a rule.” 

Silently, she took his hand, and he didn’t let go. 

Leaves crunched beneath their feet as they continued through the tall, shaded trees. Harry had to stop a few times to get his bearings and make sure they were still headed in the right direction. But soon, the trees cleared way and opened up to a large meadow. 

It was a sunny day, so as they stood at the edge of the trees, they could see across the expanse of grass and shrubs, greens and weeds, and at the farthest end, a patch of sunflowers. Harry watched Y/N out of the corner of his eye, waiting for her smile to grow as wide as he knew it would in recognition of why they had come here. 

“Come on, let’s go sit by the sunflowers.” He practically whispered to her, not that anyone would overhear them anyway. 

Hands still tied together, he led the way in relative silence until finding a patch of meadow grass that was relatively short and partially shaded, right up against the patch of sunflowers. Begrudgingly, he unclasped their hands so he could open the backpack and set out their supplies. He had packed a few towels to sit on, some sandwiches to eat, and two lemonades to share. Y/N set out the towels, and Harry did everything in his power not to stare at her while she continued to look around their surroundings in wonder. He failed hopelessly.

“I take it you’ve never been here, then?” he asked while handing her a sandwich and taking a seat on the towels.

She shook her head. “No, no. Definitely not. Had no idea that this place even existed. How did you even find it?”

Harry shrugged as he unwrapped his sandwich and took his first bite. Looking around, back towards the trees on the opposite edge of the meadow, he was reminded of sneaking out late to drink stolen beer and make too much noise. But when he turned back towards Y/N, all he saw was her face, framed by the sunflowers behind her. 

“Might’ve been here a few times with Mitch and Adam back in the day,” he admitted. But he didn’t want to let her on to what those memories really were. He had changed so much since then. No longer caring about how he looks in the eyes of others or trying to live up to the success that someone else had planned out for him. “That’s not why I brought you here, though.”

“Oh? Why did we come here then?”

Holding back a soft smile, he nodded towards the flowers behind her. “The sunflowers. Like you,” he said simply.

In recent days, he had found himself thinking about her in reference to the flowers more and more. It just made sense to him: tall and strong, simultaneously powerful and sweet, always bright even with a darker center. Their contradictions seemed to match hers almost too perfectly. The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. 

For a moment, Y/N’s smile was as bright as Harry had hoped. But it soon dropped. 

“Sunflowers die every year,” she said softly.

Harry hummed as he thought through his response. “Maybe, some types. But if you don’t cut them back, if you let them live as long as possible and do their thing. They drop seeds which grow back the next year. Sometimes you have to let things get a little dark before they can be bright again.”

Y/N paused after swallowing a bite of her sandwich, lying down on the blankets with her head towards Harry and her eyes closed to block out the summer sun. 

“I’m dying right now,” she admitted.

“Maybe, maybe not.” Harry took another bite of his sandwich. “But even if you are, it’s ok. You’re tall and strong, and nothing is holding you back. You’ll replant your seeds soon and grow even taller than before.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I promise. I know you will.” 

Y/N opened up her eyes again, looking at Harry with a soft smile to say thank you. 

It was a comfortable silence as they finished eating their sandwiches, Y/N eventually moving to rest her head on Harry’s thighs. Her hair spread from her head, and he couldn’t help but feel how soft it was as it shined back up at him.

“I’ve been thinking about what you asked me last night,” she started.

“Oh yeah? What was that?”

“About why I work so hard.” She swallowed hard before she started to share. “I think... I think I work hard because... well I want to change things. I want to make the world better for other people. And I guess that’s something that takes a lot of work.” She paused for a moment before continuing, “and if I’m the one working hard, then they don’t have to.”

Harry waited a moment, considering what she had said. He knew it was the truth, because she didn’t preface it with a joke. She just came out with it and though it wasn’t a deep secret or anything, it felt like maybe it meant something.

“You are such a good person, Y/N.”

She let out a breath, but didn’t say anything in return. Somehow, Y/N had managed to prove her strength while being entirely vulnerable, and Harry wasn’t sure how that was even possible. She so easily could have said she was in it for herself, that she wanted success, she wanted power, she wanted to feel good. But that just wasn’t Y/N. It wasn’t her. She was filled with kindness down to the deepest parts of her soul, and Harry always knew that.

“I brought some books,” he broke the silence.

It took so long for Y/N to respond he was afraid she had fallen asleep.

“Mhmm,” she gave a non committal hum.

Carefully so as not to disturb her, he reached across the towel back towards the backpack. In the bottom were two books, both collections of poems from an English class he had taken a few years back. 

“There’s this one I read once,” he started, trying to find the correct page. “It reminded me of - well, you’ll see.” He cleared his throat gently as he found the page and started to read. “It’s called _An Ode to the Kansas Sunflower_ by Ed Blair. I know we’re not in Kansas but, well, yeah.”

Oh sunflower! The queen of all flowers,  
No other with you can compare,  
The roadside and fields are made golden  
Because of your bright presence there.  
Above all the weeds that surround you  
You raise to the sun your bright head,  
Embroidering beautiful landscapes  
Your absence would leave brown and dead.

Oh queen of the September morning  
You watch for the first ray of sun,  
And salute the bright orb as it travels  
Till the bright day of autumn is done.  
Tho' sickles may slay in the pasture,  
And the plowman destroy in the field,  
Yet, still will the corners and by-ways  
The seed for the future years yield.

Then, Sunflower, peep over the fences  
And cover the hillsides with gold,  
And out in the cornfields, if tempted,  
Again take thy claim as of old;  
Salute, too, and nod to the stranger,  
Who travels the dusty highway,  
He'll worship the sun crown you're wearing  
And love you for brightening his way.

So, Sunflower, grow tall in the meadow  
And spread to the breezes your arms,  
No matter if some do molest you  
And try to destroy on the farms,  
Let thy stalk all the season still gather  
The sunbeams that come dancing by;  
And then in September unfold them  
To dazzle with splendor the eye.

Harry held his breath, waiting for some kind of reaction. Slowly, a soft smile grew across Y/N’s face, and she turned her head towards him. 

“That was nice,” she mused softly, eyes still closed. 

He let his hand reach towards her head, holding the back of it gently before allowing his fingers to run through her hair. “My sunflower,” he whispered to her. 

“Read me another? I like your voice.”

“Of course, darling,” he responded. His heart did a little flip, both at Y/N’s inherent sweetness and at the fact that he had let the pet name slip. 

The late afternoon sun shone down on them as Harry continued to read his favorite selections from his poetry books. Every now and then Y/N would respond with a small comment of “I liked that one,” or “that was nice.” Her soft smile never fully faded from her face. Harry was calm in her presence like this. Relaxed. 

Eventually he noticed her breathing slow and even out, more than it already had. The sweet thing had fallen asleep, and Harry couldn’t help but admire her features as she napped, head still resting on his lap. He grabbed towards his bag again, this time pulling out one of his leather journals and pen, this one much less worn than the full ones he kept on his shelf. 

**.** **.** **.**

As the sun was just starting to set, Y/N began to stir. She couldn’t help the small smile creep across her face, letting her eyes flutter open only for a moment before closing them again.

“Did you have a good rest?” he asked, voice still soft.

“Mmm. You make a good pillow.” 

Harry let out a small, breathy laugh. “I’ll make sure to put that on my resume,” he teased. Carefully, he closed his journal and placed it back into his bag, trying not to disturb Y/N as she slowly woke. 

She let out a soft yawn before nuzzling her cheek into his thigh. Her eyes shot open when her nose bumped against something not exactly as soft as she was expecting. And then she woke up real quick.

_Oh my god, I did not just bump my nose into Harry’s dick, did I?_ She wanted to play it cool, but she was hardcore panicking. There was no denying what she had just felt, and not only that she had _accidentally touched her friend's dick_ , but also she could clearly tell he was growing a bit hard. With her head on his lap. Right there, right now, next to it.

Her heart rate picked up, and she realized what had happened. Her mind swirling with thoughts going a million miles a minute. It couldn’t be, could it? Why would he be getting hard for _her._ She must be making this up. Or maybe she’s still dreaming? No, she’s definitely awake. Has never felt more awake in her life. 

He coughed a bit from above her, adjusting his legs, so she moved away from his stomach, and securing Y/N in the new spot by holding the back of her head gently. Playing it cool, she decided just not to mention it. What if he wasn’t hard at all and he was just _really that big?_ No, she’s not even going to think about it. 

“How long was I asleep?” She turned her head back to face the other way, squeezing her eyes closed before opening them again, trying to get herself to calm down. Just a little bit - just enough so she wouldn’t let on that _she_ _knew._

He looked at his watch. “Maybe an hour or so, not long.” His voice almost broke at the end, and Y/N started to blush from her spot on his lap.

“Oh gosh, and you were stuck sitting like that the entire time? I’m so sorry.” She meant that his legs must be stiff, but quickly realized that she had accidentally let on that she knew something else was getting a bit stiff as well.

Y/N lifted herself up onto her forearm and off of his lap, facing Harry and taking her head out of the equation. The sun was setting behind his head and his skin looked even more golden than usual. “Here, come lay down with me.” 

It was nice, lying there together and sipping on lemonade. There were a few birds in the distance, but it was almost entirely silent apart from the wind. Y/N kept looking over towards the patch of sunflowers, still thinking about what Harry had told her.

“So,” she turned her head so she could make eye contact with Harry. “How often do you tell girls at the bar that they remind you of flowers.”

Chuckling, Harry shook his head before responding. “Only the ones that have solid blackmail material from middle school,” he teased. 

“The chicken costume?”

“Yes, the chicken costume,” Harry laughed at the memory. It was probably sixth grade, maybe seventh. Not even Halloween. He showed up to class with a chicken costume, just because he thought it was funny. Apparently, everyone else thought it was funny too, including Y/N.

After a moment, he sighed. “No but, girls at the bar aren’t really my thing,” he admitted.

This caught her off guard. “A cute bartender who lives upstairs from the bar? How are you not literally _drowning_ in it?” At first, Y/N was laughing, but she held her breath upon realizing she just admitted that she thought he was cute.

Harry furrowed his brows, turning onto his side to face Y/N. “But they only hit on me when they’re drunk, Y/N. That wouldn’t be fair. And besides, bar hookups aren’t really what I’m looking for right now.”

Y/N was still lying on her back, staring up at the slowly darkening sky. “Oh come on, we’ve all had our slutty phase. You had like... nine girlfriends just in middle school, H.”

“Well, sure,” he started. “But after a certain point, it gets boring, ya know? It’s like. I woke up one day, turned over, and realized I knew nothing about this girl. And I decided I didn’t want that anymore. I think... I think I want someone who can talk to me without staring at my pants. I want someone to be a partner, to do life with. Like... pleasure is great and all, but I can do that on my own. Intimacy? That’s a whole other ball game.”

His words hung in the air for a moment as Y/N thought about what he had said. 

“Besides, you’d be surprised how few smart and beautiful girls walk into that bar without wanting to get wasted. You were the first one in months, I’d reckon.”

Y/N held her breath. Had he really just called her smart and beautiful? Had he put her in the same context as girls he wants to be with? There’s no way that’s really what he meant. He was like three steps out of her league and had made that clear close to ten years ago.

“Hey if that were true about me, I wouldn’t be eternally single,” she said with a huff. She was joking to hide her thoughts again, and she knew she was doing it. But she couldn’t help it. 

Harry was still on his side, one arm under his head and looking directly at Y/N. “There’s no way that can be true,” he tried to reason. “Besides,” he rolled back over, mirroring her position again. “Weren’t you just telling me yesterday how much you loved your new birth control or something? I mean you definitely said something because I remember spitting out my drink onto my new blanket.”

This time, Y/N turned over onto her side, lifting her upper body up to look directly at him. “Harry, you _do_ know that birth control isn’t just for controlling birth, right?” His blank stare told her all she needed to know. “I’ve been on birth control since I was like, 14 Harry. And we both know I wasn’t having sex. Did you ever notice that I missed a lot of school, each time about a month apart? And then eventually I stopped and got a perfect attendance award? It’s because I got on the pill, H.”

He furrowed his brows, trying to make sense of what she had said. 

“I mean... yeah I knew that it helped with other things but like. I don’t know, I just figured... you talk about it so much and I guess I just assumed...” 

“Harry, I mean this with all my heart. But you are a well meaning knob.” 

“Heeeeeeey,” he responded with a slight wine and mock offense.

“I literally haven’t touched a boy in ages, Harry.” Y/N punctuated her statement by lying back down again, a relief to Harry as he felt a little less pressure. 

It was a good thing too, as he felt a new pressure, lower down on his body, building up at the thought of Y/N with a boy. Of what she meant by _touching a boy_ . Of what she would _look_ like touching a boy. Of who that boy would be. 

He scrunched his forehead again, frustrated that his body kept working against him and letting himself grow a semi _twice_ now because of her. But how could he help it? This day was definitely not the first time something like that had happened. Not that she ever needed to know that. 

“A successful, powerful woman like yourself should be having men falling at her feet.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not and they aren’t.” 

“Really?” he asked softly. 

“Really really.”

He was sure this was another example of her sharing one thing to hide another, but she surprised him, speaking up again after a moment.

“I’m like... I’m touch starved, yeah?” He could see she was twiddling her fingers and picking at the front of her shirt. “Like I said how when I get drunk I like to cuddle and all that. Well I like to do that when I’m not drunk, too. And I... I haven’t in a while.”

Harry _wanted_ to ask when the last time she touched someone was. _Desperately_ wanted to hear about those intimate touches that she missed, both the innocent and not so innocent ones. But he couldn’t bear to hear the answer, and he knew that. 

“Y/N, look at me, will ya?” Harry said, turning his body to face her again. He searched her eyes, clear but afraid, not willing to actually look at him. “Hey, hey,” he tried to catch her attention. And when he did, he could see that her eyes were becoming a bit red and pressure was building. 

“I’m sorry, it’s so stupid. Like I should be able to be fine on my own, yeah? Even you keep telling me I’m so strong and everything.” 

His heart broke with concern, and he couldn’t control himself as his hand went to stroke at her hair. Her eyes fluttered closed as she leaned into the motion. 

“It’s ok, Y/N. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s so not stupid, I promise.” 

Y/N looked back up at him from hooded eyelids. 

“It’s just that... I mean I did have a boyfriend a little while ago. But I was so afraid that I was too clingy and all that. Like I’d be cuddling with him, but he’d just be on his phone or something and not even care.”

His hand continued to comb through her hair. “Oh sunflower,” he mused softly. 

At the sound of the new pet name, her eyes shot up to him.

“Is that... is that ok that I called you that?” He asked, but honestly he was afraid to hear the answer, in case it was no.

Luckily, she responded, “Of course. I love it. A lot.” 

“Good,” he smiled. “And that guy was an idiot, Y/N. You shouldn’t be with someone who makes you feel like that. That’s not what you want.”

“No,” she admitted with a sigh. “It’s definitely not.”

Softly with his thumb, Harry wiped away a tear that was beginning to form beneath her eye. Y/N released a cute, small sniffle before looking back at him.

“So, decide what you want and then go find it. That’s what you always do, isn’t it?”

“But it’s different with boys, Harry. I don’t know what I want or even how to talk to boys.”

He furrowed his brow. “I’m a boy.” 

“Yeah.”

“Well, so here. Just talk to me, alright? It’s not that bad. You said it yourself; I can’t scare you off, even if I tried.” 

At that she let out a small giggle. It was like music to his ears after seeing her so emotional. 

“What, are you going to try and teach me how to ask someone on a date?”

Harry shook his head. “Now why would I go and teach you how to get someone else, hm?” At first he was smiling, let the comment stand as a joke. But as the words hung in the air, they both started to realize what he had said. What both of them had been saying all day. 

Lifting his body up a bit higher, Harry shifted his weight onto his forearm and moved closer towards Y/N. His hand migrated to hold the side of her, thumb stroking the apple of her cheek. She was finally looking at him the way he wanted her to. Eyes deeply connected to his own. Giving her ample time to say no or move away, he very slowly started closing the gap between them.

“HEY! I SEE YOU OVER THERE! GET OFF MY PROPERTY OR I’M CALLING THE POLICE.” 

Both jumped a bit at the sudden interruption, taken out of their trance. Harry looked back to Y/N, but it was clear that their little bubble had been broken. 

“I’m sorry ma’am, we’ll pack up and go. Have a nice night!” she called in the direction of the voice.

Harry was laughing at the situation, but Y/N was clearly angry. 

“Oh come on, that was funny!”

“No it wasn’t, Harry! I told you we shouldn’t have gone past that sign!”

He could only shake his head with a light smile as they both sat up and started packing the bag back up. Before dumping their trash and towels back in, Harry pulled out his tan motorcycle jacket and handed it over to Y/N. 

“It’s gonna get cold on the way back.”

“OH my GOSH Harry, I forgot that I have to get back on that death trap.”


	3. Sunflower Vol 3

“It wasn’t a date, Niall.”

“Sure, whatever you need to tell yourself.”

Harry typically didn’t work a shift on Thursdays, but he needed to make up for the shift he traded yesterday when he took Y/N to the park. He had specifically called it a “break” when they talked about it. A break from working, from normal routine. Not once did they ever use the word “date”. And he wasn’t going to use it now just to prove Niall right.

“Well did you kiss ‘er?” Niall was wiping down the tables at the other end of the room while Harry dried clean glasses behind the bar. 

“No, of course not.”

“Ah,” Niall started. “But you wanted to.” 

Harry was blatantly ignoring the statement. He sighed. He had wanted to, so badly. At least in the moment, he did. And how could he not? There was no denying that something special had happened between them in that moment. She really opened up to him. And she looked so pretty in the setting sunlight. Her eyes sparkled. He’d gotten a semi just from having her head on his thigh, for fucks sake.

“Look,” Niall walked back towards Harry, throwing his rag back into the laundry basket they kept behind the bar. “If you don’t ask her out today, then I’m gonna.”

Harry ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and away from his face. “Ni, you can’t ask her out, ok? Just, just please?”

Niall chuckled as he moved towards the employee room so he could grab his things and head out. “You say it wasn’t a date, but y’wanted to kiss ‘er. You say y’don’t like ‘er, but y’wont let me ask her out.” He paused, checking his pockets to make sure he had everything he needed. “Y’need ta’ get y’er shit together, mate.” 

“Yeah, he definitely does.” Both their heads turned towards the door at the sound of Y/N’s voice. “I have no idea what you’re talking about but I’m sure you’re right,” she teased. 

Harry let out a breath, relieved that she hadn’t heard the rest of the conversation.

Niall looked over at Harry, raising his eyebrows. “Y’know maybe I will stay for a few minutes. Grab me some chips from the kitchen, will ya’?”

Y/N took a seat at the bar and Niall sat just next to her. Harry recognized the look on his face. He was just trying to push his buttons. Just wanted to get him riled up so he would gain the courage to ask her out. But all it really did was make Harry pouty and grumpy. 

And maybe the worst part was that Niall wasn’t  _ wrong.  _ They had definitely gotten closer lately, and Harry wasn’t ever going to pretend like he didn’t like it. He thought about her often - actually couldn’t fall asleep the night before because he kept replaying images of her in the meadow in his head. 

Back in school, there was a quick minute where he might’ve felt similarly to how he feels now. Between two of his girlfriends who he now barely remembered, he remembered finding Y/N just so endearing _.  _ Back when she had braces and brushed her teeth at lunch time. He couldn’t remember which classes they had together at the time, but he remembers that he was never, ever late to those ones. And, being a teenage boy, he may or may not have definitely thought about her once or twice (or a bunch of times) at night after he was supposed to be asleep. 

One time, he had even tried to make a move on her. But she flat out rejected him. Or she didn’t know what he was doing. He still wasn’t sure. He tried asking to study together in the library, but she just giggled at him, accusing him of being the loudest person she knew, and said she had a test the next day so there was no time for distractions. 

Instead of trying to see her at school, he started hanging out more often with his friend that lived around the corner from her. They bumped into each other when she took her dog on walks or went to a babysitting job. He even slow danced with her at a few dances, but she never seemed interested, and he was an impatient teenage boy, so he moved on to the next best thing he could find at the time. 

Maybe this could be his second chance. Ask her out proper and try and make something actually happen. Maybe rejecting him back in the day was a good thing, because it meant they could have a real go of it now. Or at the very least he could have a friend in her again. 

He tossed a bag of chips at Niall’s face, hitting him dead on and interrupting what was apparently a  _ riveting  _ conversation with Y/N. She let out a little gasp and a giggle, and that alone was enough to replace Harry’s pout with a smile.

“Oi! What was tha’ for?” NIall called back.

“You know exactly what it was for.”

“I haven’t got a clue what ‘yer talkin’ ‘bout,” Niall said, but his smirk said otherwise. 

Y/N’s attention had gone back to her computer as she mumbled to herself for a moment before looking up again. “Oh, sorry. Is it ok that I do my work down here or should I go upstairs? I just figured since there’s no one else here?”

Expression becoming soft, he shook his head. “No, no. You’re fine. Shift ends ‘bout an hour before I play though, so ‘ll probably head upstairs ‘round then.”

“Ok, that sounds like a plan.” Y/N turned her attention back to her computer again, focusing on whatever was in front of her. “Used to write papers in bars, too,” she told him with a smile. 

Harry could picture that so easily. Y/N in a t-shirt and jeans, backpack on the seat next to her, beer in her hand, writing a paper. Trying so hard to focus on her assignment but also living her life as a typical college kid. Doing homework in a bar was exactly the type of contradiction that Y/N thrived on.

“Oh, so we aren’t that special then?” he teased.

He was facing the other way, putting some glasses away. So he turned back only when he realized that Y/N was silent on purpose. Her brows were furrowed and her face held an expression that he couldn’t quite place. Her eyes ran across the screen, quickly, over and over. 

“Wha’s that?” He walked back over to her, leaning on the bar. 

She let out a huff. “I got an interview.”

Harry’s face went bright. “That’s great! I’m so proud of you!.... That’s a good thing, right?” He was a bit concerned, seeing as her expression didn’t seem to be matching the news she had just shared.

“Yeah, I.... it is.”

“So what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong it’s just... they want me to come in and it’s a four hour drive away. Don’t think I can do that.” She was obviously disappointed, but Harry couldn’t quite understand.

“Well just tell them you live out here and see if they’ll do a phone call. No biggie,” he shrugged. 

Y/N tilted her head before nodding and typing out a message. “Yeah, yeah ok I can do that.” 

Harry turned back to his work, trying not to get distracted by Niall chatting up Y/N. He had to at least pretend that he wasn’t bothered. Niall was clearly trying to get some kind of information out of her, asking about where she was applying to and what she studied in college. Harry was able to bite his tongue until he started asking about their day yesterday in the meadow. 

“...and Harry packed us sandwiches and everything. It was so nice!” 

“Pretty nice break, innit?”

Y/N looked at Harry. He swore he could see a small sparkle in her eye, and he couldn’t tell who was melting more between the two of them. He felt like at any moment he would fall apart and end up on the floor as a lump of mashed potatoes. 

Their little moment was broken up pretty quickly, though, when a loud notification came through on her computer.

“Oh!”

Furrowing his brows, Harry tried to look over the counter but couldn’t quite get far enough to see her screen. “Was that a good ‘oh’ or a bad ‘oh’?” 

“Definitely a good one! Said they can arrange for a hotel room the night before, and it’s between just me and one other candidate. Interview is on Monday.” She paused for a moment, the expression on her face dropping a bit. “My car needs work though, don’t think I can drive it that far. Wouldn’t be safe.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Harry started. “I’ll drive you.”

“Oh no you won't, not in that death trap for  _ four hours,”  _ she insisted.

Harry smirked. “Fine, we can take my car. Just for you.”

**.** **.** **.**

As the day progressed, more customers made their way into the bar so Y/N went upstairs to the loft so she could work. It was strange being there without him. She could hear a little bit of movement from downstairs, but without Harry’s songwriting in the background, it was far too quiet for her liking. The couch felt less comfortable than usual, the photos on the wall too distracting. Y/N seemed to be getting even less work done than while she was downstairs.

Eventually it became impossible to ignore the distractions. She had gotten a good look around Harry’s place the first time she came up there, but being alone, it felt different. Y/N didn’t  _ intend  _ on snooping, but she also couldn’t really help it that he had a tendency to leave doors and drawers open. 

His closet, she noticed, was very clean and organized. Shirts arranged by sleeve length and color, and then the same for pants. Shoes were a mess on the floor though, impossible to spot any pairs. Over the past few years his style really had changed a lot. Brighter colors and floral patterns overpowered the simple t-shirts she was used to seeing him in. Closing her eyes, she remembered watching him get changed that first day she came by - his golden skin and dark tattoos. There were a lot, and so many were seemingly random. Y/N couldn’t help but wonder what each of them meant. 

Next she walked over to Harry’s kitchen. She hadn’t really seen him cook all that much, although he definitely was not lacking for food. Plenty of chips and other snacks filled the cabinets, but so did mason jars of rice and quinoa and other grains. The fridge was filled with fresh produce alongside old takeout containers, and she realized she had never eaten a meal with him (other than the sandwiches at the meadow). Maybe he hated cooking, and she would have to teach him step by step while he moped and pouted. Or maybe he loved it and would flutter around the kitchen singing songs as he cooked for her with bits of flour on his face and in his hair.

Day dreaming like this could be dangerous, and she knew that. But there was only so much she could do to fend it off. Back by the wall of old photos and the shelf of books, Y/N pulled out the one with the most broken-in spine. She looked over to his bed. The comforter was fluffy and his pillows were arranged just how he liked them. But all she wanted to do in that moment was fall into it with Harry by her side. Maybe they would giggle as they distracted each other from their books. Or maybe they would stay up late talking about the most meaningful quotes. Or maybe they wouldn’t read at all, and they would just spend time together, as close as possible.

Not wanting to invade his space, Y/N took the book back over to the couch where her things were laying out. The small space had become so familiar to her in such a short amount of time, but she had no complaints about that. 

Y/N was reading [_Love is a Mixtape_](https://www.bustle.com/p/i-read-all-of-harry-styles-favorite-books-his-taste-is-questionable-22664721) by [Rob Sheffield ](https://www.instagram.com/p/BtVZG3jgOfx/)when Harry finally joined her upstairs. He stopped in his tracks as he watched her finish up the page.

“What’re y’doin?”

She put the book down on the couch beside her and shrugged. “Got distracted, figured I’d read a little. Lovely book,” she commented. And the book was lovely, but at the same time, Y/N had never been so relieved to see such a loud, distracting person. 

She watched as Harry went over to his closet and changed out of his work clothes. He told her about an annoying customer that came in way too often, and she told him about the crazy requirements for entry level jobs in her field. And it all felt so... domestic. But it was nice. Just two people talking about their day and doing life together. And Y/N knew that if she wasn’t careful, she would let her head get all too caught up in it. 

Harry made himself comfortable on his bed with his guitar and a few of the old leather notebooks, and started strumming. Y/N could tell he was trying to write something because he started without words before eventually adding in some humming. After that, she thought he was saying words, maybe mumbling them so she just couldn’t make them out. But when she really tried to listen she realized he was just making noises.  _ Beep bop boop  _

“Are you writing a song for your alien friends back home?”

Stopping mid chorus, Harry gasped in mock offense. “Well  _ excuse me  _ for trying to do something new with my lyrics.”

“Lyrics?” she laughed. “I mean, maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re singing something really thoughtful and romantic in your alien language. I wouldn’t know.”

Harry shook his head, smile still on his face as he flipped through his notebooks. “I just can’t seem to find the right words for this melody,” he admitted. 

“Maybe I can help?”

“Hmm,” Harry took a moment. He looked down as his notebooks, now spread out in a half circle around him, and then back up at Y/N. “Alright Sunflower, come give it a try.” 

Y/N couldn’t help the smile that grew on her face. He hadn’t used the petname since they got back from the meadow. Not downstairs when Niall was around, or customers, or anyone. She was afraid he had forgotten it, or she had held more meaning in it than he had. Maybe she was just reading too deep into his actions again. But now that she knew he hadn’t forgotten, it felt even more special that she only heard it when they were alone. 

Scooting over on the bed to make room, Harry bit his lip as Y/N made herself comfortable next to him.

“Ok so, tell me what’s going on here? Because some of these,” she looked around at all the notebooks lying around them. “Some look like words and some definitely do not,” she laughed.

Harry took his time explaining which ones were just music, which were just words, and which were a combination. He let her look at what was written down, although she could feel his eyes watching her closely each time she turned the page. And she started to see why. Some of the lyrics were silly or just concept ideas, some even had written around them that they were inspired by a book or a show or another song. But some of them, she could tell, were really personal and meant a lot to him. It was a bit like getting to see inside the deepest parts of his brain and his heart, and Y/N savored the moment.

And honestly, Y/N thought they worked pretty well as a team. Not that she had any other songwriting experience to compare it to. But she was able to ask the right questions and suggest the right things to help Harry connect the dots between a poem he had written in one notebook and a phrase or two he had scribbled in another. And after a few hours, they just about had a song.

“Oh shit,” Harry looked at his watch just as he finished up playing the verse. He was already running a few minutes late into when he usually performs, and he hadn’t even practiced anything yet. 

Y/N watched as he scrambled about the loft, looking for the right pair of shoes and brushing his hair. He insisted that he didn’t need any help from her, so she went downstairs ahead of him to grab a drink from Niall and take her seat at her now regular table. 

Harry definitely felt more confident than usual as he took his spot up on the makeshift stage. He plugged his guitar into the amp and tapped on the microphone to make sure it was working, then smiling at Y/N before he began to speak.

“Hi, hello. My name is Harry Styles and I’m going to play some music for you. Hopefully you enjoy it. And if you don’t... well too bad because I like it.”

It’s not that Harry had played badly before, but something about tonight felt extra good. His voice hit every note and he really found his rhythm; he even stopped between songs a couple of times to say a few words and introduce the next one. And he knew it wasn’t all in his head because everyone was actually watching and listening to him, as opposed to passively ignoring him in favor of their own conversations. He felt so powerful, up in front of a crowd that was actually watching and listening to him. Having Y/N’s eyes on him over the past few weeks had given him a real spark, but with so many people, he felt like he was on fire. 

He ended his set with a thank you before unplugging his guitar. Without even thinking about it he headed directly towards Y/N for the after set hug she had been giving him over the last few weeks. But his path was cut off about halfway by a man Harry had never spoken to but looked familiar from sitting at the bar.

“Excuse me,” he started. “My name is Jeff Azoff; great set.” 

Gears turned inside of Harry’s head as he tried to figure out what was going on. He looked like he might be important, or might be playing a joke on him. Literally the only person who had ever talked to him after a set was Y/N, and she was standing back near her table, eyebrows high on her forehead. They made eye contact and he shrugged, just as confused as she was. 

“I’m here because I’m an agent. I mostly work with young musicians, and I’ve been looking for new talent. I’ve been watching you for a while now, and I think you have something special. My partners agree. If you play your cards right, I think you could have a real shot in this industry.” 

Harry was dumbfounded. Like actually not able to get words out of his mouth shocked. The man - Jeff - handed Harry his card, and he read it over in his hand. It felt like a trick. Like when kids dare their friends to ask someone out as a joke. Or maybe he was having a really strange dream? Looking at Jeff, he had to guess that he was only a few years older than himself. But something in his gut told him that this guy was probably the real deal.

“Look man, you don’t need to freak out or anything. I’m not looking to sign you tomorrow. Picking an agent is a big decision, and I’m sure a lot of people are going to start talking to you if they haven’t already. But I’m gonna keep watching you and if you have any questions, feel free to reach out.” Jeff grabbed Harry’s hand for a quick shake, and then he was gone just as quickly as he had appeared.

Y/N came bouncing up, looking at Harry and waiting for him to say  _ something. _

“I....he was an agent.” The words still felt so foreign in his mouth. An  _ agent  _ had approached  _ him.  _ He had been watching Harry for a full year and might want him as a new client. This was what he had always wanted and always hoped for. He had expected that he would be jumping for joy when this happened. But all he could do was look at Y/N, his mouth still open, silent. 

**.** **.** **.**

It was late Sunday morning when Y/N got the text that Harry was outside. She grabbed her bag and called goodbye to her parents, hoping to avoid the awkward interaction between them and Harry, but it was to no avail. Already at her doorstep with a pleasant smile on his face, Harry tried to impress her parents with a handshake. Instead he received comments of  _ you’ve grown so much since we’ve seen you last,  _ and  _ tell your mom we say hi!  _ The greeting was virtually unrecognizable from when they would run into each other at school pick up. Harry even drove the same car - a Range Rover which was given to him brand new but he had hung onto long past it prime. 

“I can’t  _ believe  _ you made me ride on that death-trap motorcycle the other day when you had this thing lying around,” Y/N grumbled.

Harry only chuckled as he put his hand on the back of her seat and pulled out of her driveway. “Oh come on, I know you had fun. Y’got to be a bit rebellious for what, the first time ever probably?”

“Um, excuse me. I’ve broken some rules before,” she insisted with a pout. Harry kept his eyes on the road, but his dimples clearly popping out made it clear that he didn’t believe her. “I mean, I TRESPASSED with you the other day, Harry” 

“Whatever you say, babe.” The smirk and dimples never left his face.

They spent most of the car ride listening to music. Harry had told her that she could nap if she wanted to, but he also brought her coffee (the same caramel drink as the other day). He was so easy to talk to about anything at all, managing, for the most part, to follow her zig-zag train of thought. The atmosphere was light and fun, and the hours felt like they were just flying by. 

It wasn’t until they were within 30 minutes of the freeway exit that Y/N started getting nervous. This job would honestly be like a gift from the universe. It used all of her previous experiences; it was related to her college major; but it was slightly adjacent to the field she had secretly grown to resent. And on top of that, it paid. It paid well. It paid what she deserved to be paid. 

“Honestly, I don’t know why y’so nervous.” 

Harry was trying to be supportive, and Y/N knew that. But really it just made her even  _ more  _ nervous. 

She groaned, turning away from him and staring out the window at the passing fields and buildings. “You don’t get it, Harry. You’re about to get signed by an agent. You’re gonna have everything you ever wanted. I still don’t even  _ know  _ what I want.”

Keeping his eyes on the road and searching for the exit sign, Harry could only frown at what she had said. “Well we don’t know for sure that he’s gonna sign me, or that I’ll accept for that matter.”

Y/N audibly sighed.

“And it’s ok that you don’t know exactly what you want. Most people don’t know. Most people sit on their deathbed and they still aren’t sure. Sunflower, you’re gonna be fine.” 

At the sound of the pet name, Y/N felt her body filling with warmth. She could see him peeking out of the corner of his eye before he rested his right hand on her thigh, rubbing his thumb back and forth slowly. He didn’t say anything, but it was incredibly soothing. And she never wanted him to lift his hand away. 

They sat like that until Harry pulled into the parking lot of the hotel. It wasn’t five stars or anything, but it was nicer than anywhere Y/N’s family ever stayed on vacation. She tried to grab her bag out of the back, but Harry swatted her hands away, carrying them both easily as they walked in together. 

Just for a moment, it almost felt like they were doing this for real. Like they were a couple on vacation together, walking into a hotel for a romantic getaway. Like she could reach out and grab his hand in hers, look up at him and give him a little kiss like it was nothing. 

But the dream in her mind didn’t last long as they split upon walking inside the lobby. When they arrived in the lobby, Harry took the bags and went to grab some waters for the both of them while Y/N went up to the front desk to check in. 

“Yes, I see your reservation right here. That looks like one king size bed, standard room, for one night?” The concierge asked. 

Y/N furrowed her brows. “Oh um, is it possible to maybe get two beds? I brought a friend with me.”

The man clicked and typed for a moment before looking back up at her. “I’m sorry, Miss. But since the card on file does not belong to you we are unable to make any accommodations. I can offer you a small room service credit, if you’d like.”

“Oh uh, yeah, sure.” At the very least they would be getting some free food out of the deal, she figured. 

Y/N took the room keys and met up with Harry back at the elevator. Somehow, he managed to drag her rolling suitcase and his small duffle with one hand and three bottles of water in the other. He handed one to Y/N, helping her open it as the elevator dinged. 

“All good?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah.”

A family with four kids, a young couple, and three businessmen packed into the elevator with them. The elevator music hummed, Harry smiled, and Y/N bounced her leg all the way until they were in front of their hotel room door.

“Listen, H, the concierge told me-”

Harry stuck his keycard into the door before she could finish and pushed it open. 

“Hello, hello, hello!” he cheered out to the empty room. 

Y/N walked in behind him, trying to make herself feel small in the hopes that he would be less mad. Standing in silence, she watched as he dropped their bags in the closet and checked out the bathroom before turning to see that the room only had one bed.

“Oh, is this... is this the right room?”

She sighed, walking closer to him. “Uh, yeah. They said they were only expecting one person and since my name isn’t on the card they couldn’t change it.” 

Y/N stood right next to him, but refused to look up, afraid of what his expression might be. He would probably be annoyed by the idea of sharing a bed with her. Of dealing with her likely snores. Would probably grow frustrated when she shook her leg, unable to fall asleep. Her body probably ran too hot for him, and he would end up on the floor anyway, regretting his choice to come with her in the first place.

“They gave us $20 for room service though, as ya know, an apology or whatever.” She walked around to the other side of the bed looking at the pillows. “I can call for more pillows. Make a bed for myself on the floor. It’s fine.”

Harry scoffed, and Y/N finally looked up at him. She was expecting anger or annoyance, but was met only with softness. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, darling,” he told her, voice just as soft as in the meadow a few days before. “S’no problem to share, I promise. Unless... unless you’re not comfortable with that in which case I can definitely call for pillows, but they’ll be for me.” 

All she could do was smile. “Yeah, that’s uh... that would be fine. Sharing I mean.” 

“Alright, then it’s settled. Pick your favorite side, babe. Just gonna grab my phone.”

Y/N made herself comfortable on the bed and Harry went to open his bag. He hadn’t brought his guitar, but he did bring several of his notebooks and three pens. He had planned on working on one of his songs that he started several months ago, but that quickly went out the window. Suddenly, all he could write about, all he could  _ think  _ about, was Y/N and sunflowers. 

Harry used the moment facing away from Y/N to collect himself with a deep breath. Closing his eyes, he reminded himself that he had to play this cool - didn’t want to freak her out. His heart was racing, but he had to pretend like sharing a bed wasn’t something he wanted so badly he could feel it down to his bones. Maybe nothing would even happen. Maybe she would put up a pillow wall between them. But maybe he would get a real cuddle - pull her close and give kisses to the back of her head until they fell asleep.

As hard as he tried to keep his cool, Harry couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face when he joined her on the bed. He felt like a kid in a candy store. She watched TV, and Harry watched her. At least for a few moments before he noticed her cheeks start to turn pink at the attention. 

“What’re you looking at me for?” 

Harry smiled softly, turning away from her and writing in his notebook. “Oh, nothing,” he lied. 

They continued like that for some time - him writing and her watching tv, or applying for jobs (because of course she brought her entire computer to apply for jobs while at an interview). After a while, Harry remembered that at the last second he had grabbed her book off the couch from the other day. Her face lit up so brightly when he handed it to her, he felt like he could live off of that warmth forever. At some point, Y/N went to take a shower and came back looking beautiful as ever, and Harry could barely take his eyes off of her while they were meant to be reading their separate books.

As afternoon rolled into evening, they pulled out their room service menu to use the credit the concierge had given them. Each ordered something smallish and reasonably priced, and Harry insisted on paying the difference when they went over budget. He also pulled out the bottle of wine he had brought in his bag. 

Up until that point, they hadn’t had a chance to drink wine together, only beer. So it was a pleasant surprise to Harry when they were a few glasses in and Y/N’s usually strong and powerful demeanor was replaced by a softer, gentler, more delicate one. She was still a sunflower, but perhaps with the wine running through her veins she resembled the individual petals more than the flower as a whole. And he was absolutely enamored with her.

And she was giggly too, her smile never fading from her face. A number of times he even caught her laughing at nothing at all. When she pulled out her interview clothes for the next day and stood looking at them, Harry quietly walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle. Y/N let out a surprised little gasp, followed by a giggle, and Harry couldn’t help it if he found her laughter a bit contagious.

“You’ll look great, babe,” he assured her as she turned around in his arms to face him.

“Really?!” Her face beamed as she looked at him, even brighter than he had seen her in a while.

“Really really.”

The sun began to set and Y/N began to yawn and Harry knew it was getting to be bedtime. He was a bit anxious to be snuggled under the same covers as Y/N, but anxious in a good way, he thought. She probably had cute little snores. She had a cute little look on her face as she slept, he knew from her nap on his lap a few days prior. And when she walked out of the bathroom in her bed clothes (a large shirt, sports bra underneath, and sleep pants) she looked as cute as ever. 

With a yawn and a stretch, Y/N went to plug in her phone and set an alarm before getting under the covers, so Harry followed suit. He stripped himself down to just his boxers, snuggling in on the other side of the bed. There was a pretty big space between them - maybe the width of a whole person. Each was lying on their backs, staring up at the ceiling in silence.

“Harry?” she asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“I’m nervous. For tomorrow I mean. Really nervous actually.”

He turned his body to face her, and she did the same. Looking into her eyes he could see the worry they held, but he also knew that she was going to be absolutely fine. She had practiced answering interview questions. She knew every detail of the job posting. She researched the organization and even the specific people who would be interviewing her. He knew she was ready.

“Don’t be nervous,” he said. Gently, he reached up to move a bit of hair out of her face and behind her ear. “I know exactly how it's going to go.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. Just...be like a sunflower, turn your face directly into the sun and show them how bright you are.”

After a moment she whispered, “I can try that.”

Harry took a deep breath, unable to take his eyes off her in that moment. “I’m just... I’m so proud of you, you know that? Everything you do is so... I’m just proud.”

“Thank you.” 

She was soft and quiet, but that was the moment that Harry noticed she was eyeing his arms. He stretched the one with the most ink littered around it. 

“Wondering about m’tattoos?”

Y/N looked up at Harry and blushed lightly.

“S’ok, most people wonder.”

“Do they mean something?”

“Sure.” They were speaking softly, close enough that anything above a whisper was probably unnecessary. “They all mean something. Sometimes they mean a memory or something important, sometimes they mean I was drunk and had some money. But they all mean something.”

Timidly, Y/N reached out towards his arm, fingers just barely grazing the surface of his skin over the tattoo of a rose. When he didn’t flinch or tell her to stop, she continued lightly touching each mark on his arm. Even going so far as to turn his arm to the side so she could see more. He was grateful beyond words that he had somehow managed not to sprout goosebumps.

“What’s this one say?”

“Say’s m’sister’s name in Hebrew.”

“Does it really?”

Harry furrowed his brows. “I mean... yeah?”

Y/N paused her gentle ministrations and looked into his eyes. She couldn’t help but giggle. 

“You know you aren’t supposed to get  [ tattoos in other languages ](https://www.heyalma.com/whats-up-with-all-these-non-jewish-celebrities-with-jewish-tattoos/) that you can’t read right? Probably says like...  [ nothing. ](https://translate.google.com/?tl=sr#view=home&op=translate&sl=auto&tl=en&text=%D7%92%D7%99%D7%9E%D7%94) ” 

He should’ve been listening to what she was saying, but he couldn’t focus. The laughter coming from her lips was too perfect.

“When you laugh like that... you’re just, so beautiful, y’know?”

She blushed, this time all the way to the tips of her ears. Not wanting to embarrass her further, Harry turned the attention back to himself.

“Wanna see the ones on my chest?” he asked, already moving  onto his back and lowering down the sheets. 

Again, she reached out to touch. This time a little more hesitant before he nodded, egging her on. Lightly, her touch danced across the birds on his collar bones. It almost tickled, but he held himself together.

“Which is your favorite?”

Harry hummed before responding. “I dunno,” he said honestly with a little shrug. “I mean they’re mine, I like all of ‘em. Maybe the butterfly?” Really, he just wanted to feel her fingertips on his stomach. “Maybe the laurels too.”

Her eyes flitted down to where the butterfly sat proudly on his abs. He could see the nerves in her eyes, that she was nervous just to be touching his skin. But her touch felt so good. He was already addicted to it. Never wanted it to end. Just from this innocent little moment, he could already feel himself starting to chub up a bit. 

And when her fingers went even lower, grazing across his laurels? He felt like he could faint right then and there. The touch was so delicate, but it carried so much weight for him. He could imagine her touching him there in so many other ways. Gripping on tightly or scratching, digging in with her fingernails. Harry had to take a deep breath and center himself, stay focused.

He wanted so badly to touch her body in the way that she was touching his. To graze his fingers up and down her arms or rub lightly on her back until she fell asleep in his arms. He wanted to feel her warmth, close to his side as they drifted off to sleep together. 

Instead, he reached up to her face, dragging his thumb along the apple of her cheek. Harry wasn’t sure what to say, so he didn’t say anything.

“Harry?” she spoke up after a moment.

“Yes, Sunflower?” He had used the name a few times now, but never while he was so compromised and breathless.

He could feel her body shiver at the use of his pet name for her, and it was all he could do not to think of how many other ways he could make her body shake like that. 

She looked up at him from beneath hooded eyelids and swallowed, but didn’t say anything.

Remembering their conversation in the meadow, he thought of her comments about being touch starved, of wanting that physical contact with another person. She nuzzled her face into his hand for a moment, closing her eyes and letting a soft sigh come out of the smile breaking across her face. If Harry wasn’t careful, he could get addicted to these moments. 

“You’re cold, come closer,” he whispered. Reaching out his arm, he flipped her around and dragged Y/N’s warm body up against his own. He was now lying on his back, Y/N resting her head on his chest, with his arm wrapped around her. And all he could do was breath in deeply at the scent of her shampoo. 

When she readjusted herself to get comfortable and began to intertwine their legs? Well Harry just about lost it. Her top leg was bent, resting over his thigh, and he could feel the blood rushing down below just at the thought. If he couldn’t control himself, he would end up hard and ruin the moment with her. He willed himself to calm down, relax even a tiny bit. But it was to no avail. 

“Your heart is beating fast,” she said softly. 

Because oh, right, her ear was on his chest and she could hear his heartbeat. Shifting her leg again, she knocked over his dick. He could hear her catch her breath as her eyes went wide and she looked up at him. It was clear that she knew.

“Oh,” she said softly. “I... sorry.” 

But she didn’t move away from him, and he didn’t want her to. 

“S’ok,” he whispered. 

Y/N’s head was tilted up, looking directly into Harry’s eyes. The air around them filled only with the sound of their breathing. And Harry thought that maybe, this was his new favorite sound. 

“Harry?”

“Yes,” he responded through a breath.

But she didn’t say anything. Just kept looking at him, like she was waiting for him to do something. Anything. So he did. 

Before he had time to think, he had adjusted their bodies and softly moved her head to rest on the pillow. And maybe it was the wine from earlier, or maybe it was the result of waiting so long, but he couldn’t remember the last time he wanted someone so badly. From above her, he looked into her eyes, then down at her lips, and back up again. She seemed to get the idea as she nodded her head just slightly. Harry slowly brought their faces closer together, giving her every opportunity to say no or push him away, but she didn’t. 

In fact, it was Y/N that closed the gap between their lips, lifting her chin up so they could meet halfway. She sighed into the kiss, breath fanning out over his face. And he changed his mind, her sweet little sigh now washing over his lips was actually his new favorite sound.

Their kiss lasted for only a moment before he begrudgingly disconnected their lips. But that didn’t last long. He dipped back in, more confident this time as he took her bottom lip between his. He lowered his body even more, deepening the kiss and moving one hand to cradle the side of her face, holding it at the perfect angle. Lips working together in soft, languid movements, it was quite possibly the best kiss Harry had ever experienced. 

When they separated again, he backed up and looked at her. Harry searched for a sign that she was mad or regretted the action, but he found none as she only smiled her usual, soft smile. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he whispered, breath heavy.

“Me too.”

He held himself above her for just a moment longer before reassuming his spot on the bed. This time, he held her body against his, spooning and holding her softly across her middle. He gave a short kiss to the back of her neck before letting out a content sigh. 

Their bodies were close, and there was no hiding that Harry had grown almost completely hard just from the kiss they had shared. And he knew that she noticed when Y/N went to adjust herself on the pillow and bumped her cute little bottom up against him. She froze for a moment before turning her head behind her.

“Oh, do you need me to- ?” 

Harry chuckled a bit. Such a good girl, so polite, trying to take care of him.

“No, darling, it’s ok. We can just go to sleep for now.” 

Her response was a small hum, and he knew that she was already closing her eyes and falling under. 

“Goodnight, Sunflower,” he whispered into her hair.

“Goodnight.”

**.** **.** **.**

Y/N woke the next morning to a disappointingly empty bed. The space next to her, instead of filled with Harry’s warm body, was cold. That meant he must have gotten up a while ago, leaving her alone rather than giving her an opportunity for morning cuddles or kisses that she had gone to sleep looking forward to.. 

Stretching out, she let out a big yawn and rolled to her side. She had woken up about two minutes before her alarm which was equally productive and infuriating.

“Good morning, sleepy head.” 

Harry was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, already dressed for the day and reading the newspaper while sipping his coffee. 

“Goodmorning, H,” she spoke through yet another yawn. 

He chuckled a bit before walking over to the side of the bed and dropping down to his knees on the floor next to her. He ran his hand through her hair, holding it there for a moment and looking into her eyes. Y/N felt herself filling with warmth at the gesture, nearly preening at the attention.

“Hi, Sunflower,” he spoke softly. “Do you want to get dressed and go to breakfast, or should I go grab something for you and bring it back?”

Y/N smiled and tried her best not to let her entire body melt into a pile of mush right then and there. Harry had always been sweet on her, but this was the next level. She hoped it would last forever.

“Would you mind bringing me something? Give me time to get ready?”

“Of course, darling.” He punctuated the response with a quick kiss to her forehead before standing up again and grabbing his phone. “Would you like sugar for your coffee, or flavored creamer, or both?”

“Mmmm creamer please,” she mused.

Harry nodded his head and headed out the door looking at his phone, leaving Y/N in the room on her own. The whole last night felt like it must’ve been a fever dream, but Harry’s physical touch that morning proved her wrong. It was real. They had shared a bed, she touched his tattoos, and then they kissed. (And also he got hard, but she’s trying not to think about that right now.) And here they were, the morning after, and he was grabbing her breakfast from downstairs and confirming her coffee order.

And on the one hand, she was beyond excited at the prospect of what that kiss might have meant. That maybe her daydream of being a couple and doing life together wasn’t quite so far off. Days together laughing and playing scrabble, evenings in the bar watching him play, and nights upstairs in the loft, snuggling in his bed. 

But on the other, she was terrified. Afraid of losing a friendship. Afraid of misreading his signs. Afraid of literally anything and everything she could think to be afraid of. Maybe it was a one time thing for him. Maybe he didn’t think that a kiss would mean so much - surely he wasn’t brand new to the world of sex and relationships. And Y/N wasn’t necessarily inexperienced, but she was no expert either. She had always been so focused on school and then work, there never seemed to be time or even opportunity for boys. The one boyfriend she did have was a disaster - he thought she was too clingy and could never quite figure out how to get her off. So she had spent most of her time pining after boys with the knowledge that nothing would ever come of it. But maybe Harry would be the exception. Maybe things would be different with him. If anyone could come into her life and break her patterns for the better, it was going to be him.

Y/N’s little bubble of bliss was quickly broken, and she urged her anxious thoughts to stop swirling in her head. She pushed them out the only way she knew how - by thinking ahead to the interview which was the whole reason for being there. Mumbling to herself while getting dressed, she practiced her answers to all the typical interview questions she was expecting. And between the new clothes and the rehearsed statements, slowly her confidence was starting to build.

She was brushing her teeth in the bathroom when Harry came back in with breakfast. She was expecting a soft smile and maybe she could get away with another kiss, but she heard from his voice that he was on the phone.

“I... yes, I know.... Mhmm... I do take this seriously....yes I definitely want to work in this industry and I think -.... yeah.....ok.....I know.... Goodbye.”

He was still holding the phone between his shoulder and his ear while carrying breakfast and coffee. Brows furrowed, he put their plates and mug down on the small side table. But the phone stayed attached to his ear long after the call had ended. Y/N came out of the bathroom with a curious look on her face and approached Harry. He took the phone off his shoulder and just kind of stared at it, silent and a bit baffled.

“Who was that?” she finally asked.

“It was Jeff. The agent from the other night?” He went to sit down on the bed, letting out a sigh and hanging his head down a bit, hair falling in front of his eyes. “He said he came by last night to talk to me more, and was disappointed that I had skipped a night of performing. Told me I need to take this more seriously.”

Y/N’s stomach dropped. She had forgotten that Harry was giving up a show night to come with her out of town. She felt impossibly guilty. He was finally getting what he had worked for, and she might actually be the one who prevented it from happening.

“Look, Harry, I’m -”

“It’s fine.” He cut her off. But she could tell by his voice that it wasn’t fine at all. “Let’s just... let’s eat and then I’ll drop y’off, yeah?”

Somehow, she had gotten it into her head that they would have a cute little domestic morning together - eating breakfast, drinking coffee, chatting about their upcoming days. But that was definitely not in the cards anymore. Harry just barely nibbled on the plate of eggs he had gotten for himself, leaving Y/N to feel a bit small as she picked at her waffle and strawberries. When she tried to talk to him, he seemed completely uninterested, responding only with noncommittal hums and small grunts, hardly even making eye contact. All of his focus was directed towards his phone, which he was scrolling through with no end in sight. 

Harry finished first, collecting his plates on the small table and heading towards the door. He leaned on the wall, still looking at his phone screen, face blank. All Y/N wanted was to be close to him, to feel his encouragement and care for her like she had felt yesterday. On the drive there, he had known exactly what to say to make her feel better, but now he was entirely self consumed, waiting impatiently for her to finish so they could leave.

“Harry, what’s wrong?” She tried desperately to catch his eyes with her own, but it was to no avail.

“Nothing, can we just go? Y’done yet?”

She looked at her half eaten waffle. Stomach in knots, she figured it best not to eat any more. Although, she couldn't tell if the feeling came from the upcoming interview, or from the way Harry’s entire demeanor had changed in an instant. 

Y/N was about to agree that it was time to leave but when she looked up, Harry was out the door before she even said “yes.”


	4. Sunflower, Vol 4

It was awful. The interview was awful.

Y/N couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was that made the experience so bad. All she knew was that she sucked, and there was no way in hell she would be getting the job. She had been through a lot of interviews in the past few years, and she’s always been able to walk out and know exactly what went well and what went badly. But not this time. 

Maybe it was because she felt so much more pressure walking into this interview. Or maybe it was because even when being asked about her career goals, she just couldn’t get her mind off of Harry last night and the way his lips had felt against hers. Or maybe it was the way he grumbled at her in the car before dropping her off and only mumbling an halfhearted “good luck” before driving off. 

All she knew for sure was that she wanted to curl up in something warm and cozy. She wanted to feel safe and comfy. And she wanted to cry for a little while until everything bad went away.

She wanted Harry.

Normally that wouldn’t have been an issue. They had agreed that Harry would come pick her up after she texted him that the interview was over. But that was 15 minutes ago, and she hadn’t heard anything since. 

She tried calling him three more times, only to be sent to voicemail almost immediately. Now it was starting to rain, and she had quickly moved from being disappointed and sad to frustrated and mad. He had promised this wouldn’t happen. He promised he would be there for her no matter how the interview went. But that was yesterday in the car when they were both in good moods. 

Eventually, she gave up and called for an Uber to take her back to the hotel instead. Hopefully Harry had at least kept up his other promise - that he would clean up the hotel room and pack so they could check out on time as soon as she got back from the interview. 

Walking into the lobby, Y/N looked around for Harry. He was in the far corner with both of their bags, so at least he had done his part there. She could see him pacing back and forth, on the phone still, with a furrow in his brow. 

Instead of approaching him, she went straight to the front desk to check out. She figured maybe he would finish his phone call and be in a slightly better mood by the time she went to see him. Although part of her kind of thought that he deserved to be in such a bad mood after literally forgetting about her and the entire reason why they were on this trip in the first place.

When she finally had the nerve to go to him, Harry was less than happy. 

With a sigh, Y/N finally approached Harry. “I already checked out. Come on, let’s just go.”

Wordlessly, he followed her. He still carried both of their bags, but unlike walking in, they didn’t hold hands. Y/N couldn’t fantasize about this being a couples vacation either, as he seemed so completely uninterested in her or anything about her. The kiss must’ve meant way more to her than to Harry. She figured he must just be playing games, seeing her as another warm body that happens to be close.

“Do you have a car blanket?” she called back to him while he was loading the trunk. 

“Uh, yeah. Here” Harry threw the blanket up to her. 

It was rather small, and the fleece had thinned quite a bit. She tried not to think of what kinds of things had happened between Harry and other girls under this blanket. She tried not to think of the things that happened between the two of them under different blankets just last night. She tried to just sleep. So she buckled her seat belt and got cozy as quickly as she could, closing her eyes before Harry could get into the seat next to her. 

When he did join her, he asked softly if it would be ok to play a little bit of music low in the background. She nodded, even though she knew it would make it harder to sleep. She just didn’t want to deal with fighting him about anything. 

The soft music calmed them both a little bit. Y/N was able to fall asleep rather quickly, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts and the road. This drive was so different from the drive up there. He was still looking at her out of the corner of his eye. He was still thinking about her constantly. But he was angry. And frustrated. And guilty. And annoyed. 

Jeff was... Jeff was something. He was a big deal. He jumped into Harry’s life out of nowhere and offered what might be his dream. But then he called that morning and practically threatened to rip it all away from him in a second. And why? Because he decided to take a day off from performing to help Y/N get  _ her  _ dream? 

Maybe Jeff had a bit of a point. You can’t make it in music without serious commitment: long hours, hard work, high emotions. And for the past few years that’s exactly what Harry had been doing. He stayed in his hometown and went to community college so he could focus on music. Then he left college so he could put even more time into it. He had hardly missed a performance since he started working and living at the bar. But he still didn’t have very much to show for it.

Harry couldn’t help but let out an audible sigh. It was clear that Y/N was fast asleep by now, and in a way, he was relieved. He knew that it was unfair to take out his emotions on her. He should’ve been kinder. Should’ve built her confidence before the interview. Should’ve been more empathetic afterwards. 

Should’ve picked her up like he promised.

But she texted him right after he picked up the phone. Jeff was calling again to let him know that he was bringing some colleagues to his performance tomorrow, and that Harry better show up or else all offers are going to be completely off the table. 

Jeff kept doing that - kept promising things only to pull out the rug from underneath him. Harry had only known this guy all of three days and already he was getting into his head. 

Y/N made a little noise in her sleep, readjusting her body to get more comfortable. Harry couldn’t help but smile at that. Her little noises were so cute and sweet. The way her voice sounded when she was about to fall asleep and when she first woke up in the morning was like music to his ears. The small gasps and sighs she released during their kiss the night before were the most beautiful things he had ever heard. 

He wanted to hear more. He wanted to have an endless supply of her cute little sounds, but he also wanted to learn about what other noises he could coax out of her. Would she moan into his mouth if he pulled on her hair a bit? Would she let out a shocked gasp the first time he touches her where he wants to most? Maybe. Or maybe not. She was such a good girl, always the most polite and considerate. She would probably keep all of her noises to herself for fear of bothering someone else.

And she brought so much light into his life. After Jeff had introduced himself, Y/N was probably even more excited than Harry was. They went upstairs together and drank beer while fantasizing about what his future might look like: recording albums, selling out arenas, winning awards. People might know his name one day! He could sing all his own songs, and they could connect with people. She was the one to tell him he was going to make it one day, while he was sitting there full of imposter syndrome. She was the one that convinced him that this mattered, that Jeff mattered, that performing mattered. And that his dreams would come true one day. She probably believed in him more than he believed in himself, and he couldn’t imagine doing life without her, even for one day.

Harry decided right then and there that he intended to kiss Y/N as often and as much as possible. As much as she would let him. He had wasted so many years not going after her strongly enough and he needed to make up for it. And he wanted to hold her. All the time. He wanted to cuddle while watching movies on his couch and feel her breathing slow down in bed. 

But mostly, Harry just knew he needed to be close to her. Physically, emotionally, whatever. All of the above. Even if that meant making some sacrifices. Because that’s what people do for people they care about - they make sacrifices. And maybe Jeff just never had the chance to understand that.

Y/N’s mouth was set into a straight line, brows still furrowed in her sleep. She usually looked so peaceful and elegant while she dozed, and Harry couldn’t help the feeling in the pit of his stomach knowing that he was the reason to make her feel this way. 

**.** **.** **.**

“Darling, wake up. We’re almost back.” He spoke softly as he rested his hand onto her thigh, rubbing his thumb back and forth for a moment.

Her eyes fluttered open. Usually, she would bring with her a brightness in her eyes or her smile, or both. But this time, after waking up fully and remembering the events of the day, she continued brooding. She even pulled her leg away from Harry’s hand. 

The car was silent for some time before Y/N noticed that they were driving in the wrong direction to get to her house.

“Harry, please,” she sighed. “I’m exhausted, I’m frustrated, I fucked up my interview. I’m tired of your BS, just take me home.”

“Please,” he begged with her. “Just trust me. Just... just let me do something, ok? I’ll get you home soon, I promise.” He just wanted this one chance to prove something.

He was met with silence from Y/N, who simply turned her head to look out the window. 

There wasn’t much to be looking at. Their hometown was quite boring and nothing had changed in years. Driving through, Y/N could point out houses where she knew old friends and acquaintances had lived. Their parents likely never moved, even if her old classmates had managed to break out of this place.

She hadn’t really taken a good drive through the town since she’d been back. It had been over a month at this point, but she was still in denial. This place’s small; someone could see her. And then they would know. And maybe they would tell someone else. And the more people who knew that she’s back, the more real that fact became. She just couldn’t let it feel real.

Harry pulled the car into the high school parking lot, and Y/N could feel the goosebumps rising on her skin. She never wanted to step foot in this place again. Not now and not ever. She didn’t need the reminders of how people had made fun of her, of how the PE teacher called her fat, or of how the math teacher made her cry. And being there with Harry... well she didn’t need the reminder of what could’ve been. What almost was.

Even their kiss last night couldn’t heal the pain.

“Harry,” she grumbled. “What in the hell are we doing here?”

He stayed silent for a moment before pulling into a parking spot. They were in the middle of the empty lot, and it felt rather ominous to them both. She could practically hear the ghosts of teenagers past and present filtering around them. 

She watched closely as Harry turned the key in the ignition, quieting the space around them. He turned to look at her, but she did everything in her power to avoid his eye contact.

“Please, look at me,” he begged softly. “Sunflower.”

“Don’t you fucking dare call me that name ever again!” Now she was looking directly at him. 

He sighed, closing his eyes and opening them again. “Look -”

“No, you look.” She cut him off. Enough of his empty promises and meaningless glances. “You don’t get to say those nice things and be all sweet on me and get me to think that you care about me!”

“But I  _ DO  _ care about you, Y/N.”

She shook her head. “No, Harry. You don’t. If you cared about me you would’ve said more than two words to me this morning. You would’ve wished me good luck before my interview and noticed when I texted you to come pick me up. You could’ve at  _ least  _ told me that you were on the phone or  _ something. _ ”

“Darling, I didn’t even see the text. Jeff had already called me.”

“Oh no, you do  _ not  _ get to call me ‘darling’ right now.”

Harry sighed. “Sunflower,” he pleaded softly.

“Stop. Stop it!” She practically screamed at him. “You don’t get to sit there all pretty and call me that name when all you really want is a warm body to wet your dick at night!”

Harry’s face dropped, and Y/N held her breath. She hated seeing him hurt like that, she hated that she was the reason for his hurt. But she needed to say what she said.

Looking down at his lap, Harry spoke softly. “That’s what you think this is? You think... you think I just want to get my dick wet because you happen to be here?”

Y/N swallowed hard. “Well, if it’s not. Then what is it? And why the hell did you bring me back here?” She paused for a moment, looking out the window at the familiar brick buildings. “Because honestly,” she sighed as she turned back to him. “It feels like you’re just rubbing it in.”

“Rubbing what in?”

She couldn’t help but scoff. “Rubbing in the way you treated me then. Like... like I was just a play thing. And you’re doing it again now.”

The yelling had calmed down, but the weight of the sadness was almost too much to bear.

“I... I never...” Harry seemed to be lost for words. “Y/N, you’re not a play thing. You’ve never been a play thing.”

He reached his hand out to cup her face, gently like he had the night before in bed. But she backed away quickly. His hand dropped down to his lap again.

“Then how come you’re able to treat me so badly? How can you make me feel so safe one minute and so in danger the next?”

“I... I don’t know.” Harry wasn’t making eye contact anymore, looking only at his hands in his lap.

“How come you can’t talk to me? Why can’t you tell me what’s going on?”

“I don’t -”

“Harry. Stop being an idiot. Look at me and tell me the truth. What did... what did that kiss last night mean? Because it meant something to me. Did it mean anything at all to you?”

It took him a moment, but slowly, apprehensively, he looked up from his lap and into her eyes. He was surprised to see them welling up, tears about to fall out over the edge of her eyelids. It broke his heart to know that he had caused her to feel that way, and he knew it was time to tell the truth. 

Harry looked at her a moment before speaking. “Baby.”

She cringed. 

“Honey?” 

Her reaction wasn’t much better. 

He took a deep breath. “Y/N. It meant... it meant so much to me.” He closed his eyes for a moment, building up the courage to say what he needed to say. “I like you. I like you a lot, ok? And I’ve fucking liked you for years.” 

Harry bit the corner of his lip as he waited for a response, but Y/N only closed her eyes, looking away from him.

“I don’t... I don’t know how to fix this. But I want to. I want to make it better because...” 

He tried, but he couldn’t come up with the words to fill in how he was feeling. Because she was perfect. Because she was bright. Because she was strong. Because she was everything he ever wanted in another person. 

“Because, you’re my sunflower.”

He spoke so softly, she almost didn’t hear it. But when she did, she finally looked back up at him from behind her red rimmed eyes.

“I’m your sunflower,” she repeated softly. 

He reached for her hand, holding it lightly. “Yes, darling. You’re my sunflower. And I need you.”

She squeezed his hand, comforting him and allowing him to release some tension. But when she opened her mouth again, he could tell the conversation was far from over.

“Why now? Why... I’ve known you for years, Harry. Why did you wait until now?”

In his head, he knew the question was coming. He knew he would have to have a valid answer for her. But in his heart he was hoping he would have more time to think of something.

“I don’t know,” he started, honestly. “I think... I think if I had been brave enough to make a move in high school, it would’ve ruined our friendship. I think we were in very different places for a long time. I think the universe just wasn’t ready for us yet.”

“Is it...” she gulped. “Is it just because I’m here? Please, H. If it’s just because I’m here, I need to know.”

“No.” He was quick to respond. “Absolutely not. I’ve been thinking about this for... for so long. And I tried so hard to push it to the back of my head. To just be friends. To savor what we did have together. And it was easy for a while, when you were in a different state or when we weren’t really talking. But then... then you walked into the bar and you looked so...” he shook his head, unable to come up with the right words.

“I was dying. My petals fell off, my seeds were drying out.”

“You were dying. And I could see that right away,” he confirmed. “I was afraid I had lost you for real. That you would walk out that door and I’d never see you again. But when you came back to see me play? That’s when I knew for sure.”

“Knew what?” She was pushing him, but he needed to be pushed.

“Knew that... it was time to step up. That the universe was ready. That somewhere out there, there’s a meadow waiting for seeds to be planted, and I wanted to be the one to water them and watch them grow.”

They had been looking at each other so deeply for so long, it threw Harry completely off when Y/N started to giggle.

“That is by far the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said.”

“I like cheese,” he shrugged.

“Me too.”

Finally, her expression had softened just a bit, and he spotted the slight smile starting to form across her face.

“I don’t need anyone else to plant the seeds, you know. I can do it myself.”

“I know.”

“You said it yourself, sunflowers come back every year on their own because they’re strong.”

“I know.”

“But... I suppose it would be nice to have a little bit of help every once in a while.”

The way she spoke was so soft, like her words were the most tender thing in the world. And Harry was eating it up. He loved how powerful and headstrong she was. How brave and tall she could be. She really could do it all herself, if she wanted to. He was just asking her to let him help.

“Darling,” he spoke softly. 

She looked at him, but said nothing.

Slowly, carefully, he lifted his hand back up to her face like he had tried a few moments prior. This time, she didn’t flinch away. In fact, as his palm cupped her jaw and he stroked her cheek, she practically fell into it, fell into him.

Her eyelashes danced lightly on her skin as she closed her eyes, savoring the feeling. And he savored the view it gave him. Only after appreciating it enough did he tilt her head just so, causing her to open her eyes and look directly at him again.

He looked from her eyes to her lips, and back again, asking for permission. She gave the tiniest little nod.

Harry didn’t have to be told twice.

Using his right hand on her cheek and moving his left hand to her lower back, he brought her in closer to him and connected their lips. He was soft and gentle with his mouth against her, but his left hand was aching to bring her in deeper. Still, he held it together and kissed her slowly, like the night before. But so much better. Her bottom lip was slotted between his as he sucked on it lightly. Their mouths worked together in slow, languid movements. They fell into a rhythm. Perfect rhythm. His favorite rhythm. 

He never wanted that moment to end.

But eventually even he needed to catch his breath. They disconnected, but only just barely. He could feel her breath over his lips, hot and fast. He swallowed hard as he tried to gain control of his body and his emotions.

“Say it,” she said softly.

He was confused for a moment, before he finally responded. “I’m sorry.”

“For...”

“I’m sorry for being an asshole this morning. Twice. You’re so much more important than I let you believe.”

“And?”

“And...” He racked his brain for the words he wanted, but it was difficult as the blood seemed to be rushing in the wrong direction. “And I’ll tell you the truth, from now on. And I’ll be kind. And I won't leave you out in the rain unless it’s to reenact a rom com, and we’ve already agreed on it.”

At that she laughed, head falling back on her shoulders. And as much as he missed her closeness, he couldn’t deny how much he loved the noise she made.

“I’ve got one more,” he told her with a shit eating grin.

“Oh yeah? Let’s hear it.”

“And most of all. I’m sorry I waited so long to give you the  _ pleasure  _ of kissing me.” 

She pushed his chest and rolled her eyes, but he loved it.

“What????”

“You’re such an idiot, Harry!”

She was right. But he’d never tell her. 

They laughed together for a few moments longer before he grabbed her hand again and brought her knuckles up to his mouth to kiss softly. 

“Harry,” she said softly, bringing the atmosphere around them back down to the ground. “If this isn’t... if you’re not just trying to get laid. If this is going to be something real, you’re going to have to prove it to me, ok?”

He nodded. “I can do that.” 

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

Reaching up slowly, Harry’s hand found purchase in Y/N’s hair at the back of her head. He searched her eyes for another moment, but he could hardly hold his body back. 

“Come ‘ere,” he whispered.

It happened so quickly this time. Their lips crashed together with more passion than ever before. And Harry couldn’t get enough. 

His other hand moved to her waist, bringing her even closer. More, he just wanted more. Opening his mouth, he deepened the kiss, their tongues moving across each other. And then she let out a moan. A fucking  _ moan.  _

Goosebumps popped up along his skin as he allowed his hand on her waist to migrate up, rubbing her back, her arm, anything he could get his hands on. He never wanted to let go. 

“Harry, Harry, wait.” Y/N was practically panting as she caught her breath, leaning her forehead against his and closing her eyes. 

His heart rate was speeding up anyway, but now he was getting nervous. Was she already regretting this? Did he jump the gun again? Did he do something wrong?

“Aren’t we supposed to do this in the back seat?”

Letting out a breath, Harry couldn’t help but giggle and shake his head. 

“Supposed to? You’re telling me you’ve never done this before?”

She shook her head, eyes wide like a deer in the headlights. And Harry just thought it was the most endearing thing. Always such a good girl, never even having the experience of making out in a car.

“Well we’ve got to fix that then don’t we? Looks like I’ll have to teach you a thing or two.” 

He couldn’t help but let himself smile wide as he saw her sweet little blush. And she looked so gentle and small in that moment. This tall, strong, powerful woman in front of him suddenly became something completely new. And he loved it more than words could describe.

They both giggled as they got out of the front seat and into the back. Y/N closed the car door, sitting up straight, waiting for Harry. And when he saw her, he couldn’t help the hunger he felt deep in his belly.

“Oh no, you don’t get to sit up like that,” he told her, crawling over to her and coaxing her body to lay down across the back seat. “There we go, that’s how I want ya.” 

He dove back in, picking up right where they left off with one hand on the side of her face and the other on her hip. But his hands didn’t stay there long. Quickly he moved his right hand from her face into her hair, and his left from her hip up to her chest. His palm massaged her breast, and her fingers tangled into her hair like they were always meant to be there. 

She whined at the new contact, and Harry swallowed every bit of it. Her breath was shaky, but he held onto her firm.

“Please,” she whined, about nothing in particular.

He hummed, looking at her so desperately beneath him. “Such a good girl,” he whispered. 

And he could’ve sworn her eyes rolled into the back of her fucking head. 

“Y’like tha?” he teased, kissing her again softly. 

Again he was met with just a whine. And it drove him absolutely feral. 

Using his hand in her hair, Harry pulled Y/N’s head back, elongating her neck and giving him room to find a home for his mouth beneath her chin. He kissed up and down the side of her neck, hands still in their places before sucking a small bruise into her skin at the junction of her shoulder. And she absolutely preened at the attention.

He couldn’t help himself anymore, finally allowing his hips to grind up against her own. The friction was like heaven, and it was clear they were both completely desperate for touch. He breathed heavily before practically collapsing with his forehead in her neck. 

“Harry,” she moaned out.

“I know, baby, I know.” 

Her fingers grabbed onto his shirt, pulling it up over his head so she could touch his skin directly.

“Off, need this off.”

Harry pulled it off the rest of the way and watched as her eyes raked over his chest. 

“You can touch, darling,” he reminded her softly. 

She didn’t need to be told twice. Y/N’s hands danced over his swallows, his butterflies, his laurels, and everywhere in between that she could see. His skin was warm and soft, and it shined like gold. But she needed him closer, as close as physically possible and then some. 

Moving her hands to his back, she pulled him back in closer to her, connecting their lips and grabbing at his skin wherever she could. She felt frantic. She needed him. Wanted him all around her. Wanted to breath him in and smell him and never let him go.

When he disconnected from their kiss, she let out a desperate whine. 

“Don’t worry baby, I’m here. I’m right here,” he promised.

She felt his fingertips dancing at the hem of her shirt before he lifted it up, over her bra. Arching her back, she helped him take it completely off before he fumbled with the clasp of her bra, letting that fall to the side.

And the look on his face when her chest was completely revealed? She thought it would make her feel shy, exposed. But he looked at her like she had come directly from the sun and the stars. Like her body was the best thing he had ever seen in his entire life. And she soaked all of it up. She loved the praise he gave as he admired her, and it filled her with strength to see his expression.

“You can touch,” she echoed.

Harry chuckled as he reached down, massaging both in his hands before dipping down and taking one nipple into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it, mimicking the action with his fingers on the other sides, before biting softly and lifting back. 

“You’re amazin’,” he groaned.

“You are.”

She felt him undo the button on the front of her pants and start to push them down. Her hand naturally went from his back and moved around to his front, palming him through his pants. Finally touching his dick on purpose and feeling how hard he was already getting.

“Mm-m,” he shook his head. “Not about getting my dick wet, right? Let me take care of ya, let me prove it to ya.”

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

Harry sat up a bit and started to drag Y/N’s pants down. She lifted her hips to help him, shivering when the cold air around them hit her skin, causing goosebumps to rise up on her legs, arms, and stomach. 

“Oh, baby,” he whispered, cupping her face with his palm. “Are you cold?” 

She nodded, closing her eyes softly.

“Let me warm you up. Come here.”

The kiss was soft and gentle, and just distracting enough that she almost forgot where his other hand was. His fingers trailed just above her panties before slipping under, slowly moving to cup around her center.

“So wet, baby. So ready for me.” His voice was deep, words reverberating into her mouth. “Good girl,” he added. 

And that was the beginning of the end for her. 

With one finger, he explored her body in the best way. She felt him stroke from the bottom of her hole all the way up to her clit, where he gently circled the sensitive spot. Their mouths were still connected, but only just barely, as she let out a short moan and he swallowed it all up.

“Fuck, darling,” he whispered. 

Beneath her last bit of clothing, his finger picked up the pace. And her breathing sped up to match.

Suddenly her entire body was on fire, and she just needed them off, so she moved her hands down to take off her underwear, the last barrier between them. 

Harry raised his brows as he watched her actions before moving to help her. And when they were finally off and he threw them to his feet, she let out a sigh at the sweet release. 

He sat up, spreading her legs open and drinking in the sight. 

“Shit, babe.” He was completely out of breath. “Yer’ perfect. Just absolutely fuckin... perfect.”

Harry could see the blood rushing up to her cheeks, making them red and beautiful. Her eyes closed, hiding herself from the compliment, and he leaned down to kiss her cheek lightly.

“Perfect,” he whispered again, like some kind of promise.

With the same hand as before, his fingers went back to work. First one playing inside of her, and then he added another. He pushed them in and out for a few moments. He leaned his head down to take her clit, now engorged and sensitive, into his mouth. Taking the time to explore with his fingers inside of her, he found that special spot that he knew would make her go mad. 

And it absolutely did. As he played with her, he could hear and feel her start to whine, and wiggle, and squirm. Gasps of his name and profanities and garbled words that didn’t even sound like anything, came out of her mouth. Harry wanted to set out a tape recorder and listen to it forever.

He was completely caught up in what he was doing. Eyes closed as his lips and tongue suckled at her clit, fingers busy beneath his chin. He almost didn’t hear it. And when he did, he almost thought he made it up. But it happened, it definitely happened. 

In the midst of her moaning and gasping and whispering and begging, Y/N let out a soft whimper of “daddy, please.”

He stopped in his tracks, lifting up his head to make eye contact with her and watch as she blushed upon realizing that he had heard her.

“Fuck, baby,” he started. “Don’t be embarrassed, that was the hottest fucking thing...” Harry was panting for more than one reason. It took a moment for enough blood to get up to his brain and remind him of all the things he could say before he finally spit it out. “Good girl... such a fucking good girl,” he told her. 

She whined, not even trying to hold back how those words made her feel. And her reaction left him practically in awe. With his fingers still inside of her, he could feel her clench around him as his words affected her. 

His pants were suddenly way too tight, and he needed some relief. Quickly, he pulled them off, leaving himself in only his boxers before turning his attention back to Y/N. 

“Beautiful,” he whispered, almost as if just to himself. “Gonna make you cum, sweetheart, ok?” His words were gentle as he was practically cooing at her. “Want you to feel good... want you to cum on m’fingers.” 

It was a promise that he intended to keep. 

Y/N nodded her head and closed her eyes as Harry went back to work like his life depended on it. Adding a third finger, he stroked her inner walls at a brutal pace. At the same time his mouth was completely occupied by her clit - licking, sucking and kissing her where she was the most sensitive. 

It wasn’t long before he could feel her start to clench around his fingers, and her hand flew down to grab onto his hair. He was completely engulfed by her, and it was pure bliss. As she gave his hair a particularly hard tug, he found himself humming softly around her clit. And that seemed to be her undoing.

Her moans and whines and cries of his name were even more beautiful than he ever could have imagined. He continued working her through her high, fingers still stroking inside of her and clit still firmly in his mouth. In a perfect world, it would’ve lasted forever and they both could’ve enjoyed the moment for the rest of their lives. 

But eventually, Y/N came down and pushed Harry’s head away from her, too sensitive for any more attention. And even though she asked for it, she still whined at the loss of contact.

Harry was panting, trying hard to catch his breath. His face was shining where he was covered in her juices and he loved it. Absolutely loved it. Even lifted his fingers up to his mouth to clean them off more because he just couldn’t get enough. 

“Fuck, Harry,” she said between pants, still trying to catch her breath.

He shook his head in disbelief, taking in the sight before him. “Shit babe, you did amazing. You were so... fuck.” He couldn’t even attempt to find the words he wanted. 

After a moment, he reached back into the front seat and grabbed the old car blanket that Y/N had been wrapped up in earlier and used it to wipe off his face and hands, and clean her up as well before tossing the blanket back to the floor. Once that was taken care of , he couldn’t help but collapse on the seat next to her. It was a tight squeeze, but he pulled her in close and just held her there for a moment. 

Y/N’s head was tucked firmly into his neck, and Harry rested his own head atop hers. Taking a deep breath, he smelled the way her shampoo, perfume, and natural scent all mixed together to create something absolutely breathtaking. 

They stayed there for a few minutes, wordlessly, just enjoying the moment and each other. But soon, Y/N’s hand worked its way down Harry’s body, rubbing over his hard cock through his boxers.

“No, baby,” he pulled her hand away. “This was about you. All for you.” He gave a sweet kiss to the top of her head as he interlocked their fingers. 

“But... you’re leaking, Harry.”

He wiggled his hips a bit and realized she was right. Enough precum was literally leaking out of his tip that it had soaked through his boxers. He let out a deep breath.

“You think this is the first time I’ve been hard cuz of you and not been able to do anything about it?” he teased. “Where have you been the last few weeks? Last ten years even!” 

She giggled at that, and he couldn’t help but laugh along with her.

“So,” he started, just as her giggles had begun to die down. “Good girl? And Daddy?” 

Y/N groaned and tried to push Harry away, only to nearly fall off the side of the seat. But he grabbed her just in time and brought her back in close to him.

“It’s ok, we can talk about it later,” he told her. 

“Or never.”

“No,” he chuckled. “We are  _ definitely  _ talking about it because fuck me if that wasn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

She nuzzled in even closer to his neck, trying to avoid the conversation by any means possible. 

He took a breath, trying to center himself before going out on a limb. “Y/N,” he started. “Come home with me tonight. Just... please, come stay with me for a while.”

“Ok.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Harry felt his heart racing. “Can I... can I take you out on a proper date, too?”

Before he could wait for a response, she had turned her head to kiss him softly.

“So, I take that as a yes?” 

“Yes,” she giggled before taking her place again with her lips to his neck.

Silence overtook them after that, and Harry honestly had no complaints. The sound of her heartbeat against him was calming and he never wanted to let go of her. They were still skin to skin, and even with the inside of the car hot and humid, neither of them seemed to mind.

He almost didn’t hear when she whispered to him, but he felt the vibrations of her voice on his skin.

“What was that, darling?”

“I said, what does this mean? What... what are we now?”

Harry took a deep breath. The truth was he had hoped to have a little more time before needing to answer the question. But it was valid, and he couldn't blame her for asking.

“I... I don’t know.”

He felt her take a deep breath.

“But I do know some things. I know that you are really special and really important to me. I know that I care about you and I’m pretty sure you care about me too. And I know that...” he faltered a bit. “I know that you’re my Sunflower.” 


	5. Sunflower Vol 5

“H, come back to bed.”

Y/N rolled over beneath the covers. Her eyes were still closed, but she already knew exactly where Harry was.

“Can’t babe,” he called from across the loft. “I’ve got to go downstairs and get this extra shift in. But I’ll be back soon, I promise.” 

He walked towards her while buttoning up the last of his buttons on his dress shirt for work. As he flipped the collar back down, he leaned forward and gave a sweet kiss to her forehead. 

Only for her groan in response. 

“Fine. Got me fuckin’ wrapped ‘round yer fingers, I reckon,” he grumbled.

Begrudgingly, he crawled into the bed next to her. Harry stayed on top of the blankets, much to her dismay, though he did let his fingers comb through her hair as they both laid there, relaxed and at ease.

“Lemme give you a date tonight,” he said, breaking the silence.

“Mmmm where?”

Harry thought for a moment. “Here. I’ll make you dinner before my set tonight. How’s that sound.”

“Sounds nice,” she hummed in response. 

“Great, it’s a date.” He sat there for a beat, before she felt him shifting next to him. “I really do have to get downstairs, darling.” 

“Mmm fine. Meanie.”

“Meanie!” he gasped. “I just asked you on a date, and you’re calling me a meanie.” He rolled himself out of bed and stood up, leaving an empty space next to Y/N once again.

“Nice for the date tonight. Mean for leaving me right now,” she teased, eyes squeezed closed.

She heard Harry sigh before dropping to the ground on his knees and lightly pushing her hair off her face, letting the light into her eyes. It was far too bright for her liking and far too early for him to be leaving her alone in bed.

“I know, darling,” he whispered. “I won’t be far. There’s breakfast in the fridge and coffee in the pot for when you wake up.” 

A soft smile spread across Y/N’s face at his words and attention. She puckered her lips, and he matched them with his own, just for a moment. One more kiss lightly placed on her forehead and then she heard him descend down the stairs.

Y/N rolled over and attempted to fall back to sleep, but it was a tall order considering the mushy gushy feeling inside her stomach. This wasn’t the first time that she had woken up in the loft, or the first time that Harry kissed her good morning, or even the first time that he had gotten up before her. But it  _ was _ the first time that he had made her breakfast and coffee.

A day and a half earlier, Y/N had mentioned in an offhand comment that maybe she’d stay the night more often if she had a built in breakfast like when she stayed at home. At the time, Harry had just hummed, maybe said something funny in response, and continued on the conversation about something else entirely. But it was clear that he was listening. He was always listening. 

And Harry had plenty of opportunity to listen because they were always together, and she was always talking. A week ago, after their fun in the car, Y/N had agreed to spend the night at Harry’s, and she had hardly left since. It felt like they were trying to make up for the lost time of all those years they spent as just friends. 

When she did leave, it was usually to go home and grab some extra clothes, which were now accumulating in a drawer of Harry’s dresser. He promised her that he didn’t mind. That if giving up a drawer meant that he got to have her for longer, he would gladly make the sacrifice. 

Over that same time, it became abundantly clear that Harry was getting closer and closer to his dream. On Tuesday, the day after the interview, Jeff had brought back his colleagues. Harry’s face lit up when they all introduced themselves after his set, and he talked her ear off when they went back upstairs. Apparently he knew exactly who each of them were and exactly how to sweet talk them to get what he wanted (but for Y/N they were all just big suits). On Thursday, Jeff had brought just two of them, and they all sat at their table in the back whispering and passing papers back and forth for Harry’s entire set. On Sunday, Jeff returned alone and took Harry aside, talking to him in a quiet corner of the bar for a really long time. 

Y/N still wasn’t sure exactly what Jeff had said to Harry, but he had come back upstairs beaming. He was fully convinced that Jeff was going to be his ticket to success, his best chance to get out of this place and do something that he really wanted with his life. 

It filled her heart with so much pride to see Harry so happy and so close to his dream. But it also made it much harder to talk to him about her own job search. She’d had a few phone interviews, but nothing had come of those. And she still hadn’t heard anything back from the in person interview which was now a full week ago, she had pretty much given up hope on that one.

But that’s not to say that Harry hadn’t been utterly and completely supportive of everything Y/N ever did or talked about. When he looked at her, she felt like he thought she was the key to the universe. Like she could solve all his problems in an instant. 

And he really did a lot to make her feel special. When they had finally had a chance to do a real date on Friday, he took her to the nicest restaurant in town, followed by tickets to see a movie that she had been very clear that she was excited to see. 

That’s why he had taken the extra shift this morning. He traded with Niall on Friday evening and in return (because Niall absolutely  _ hates  _ working Fridays) he promised to take three of Niall’s shifts. 

Which makes it really hard to be mad that Harry was getting out of bed early and leaving her alone. He was doing it all for her and for them. She knew that and appreciated it beyond words. But she also desperately wanted to be able to wake up next to him and roll around kissing each other for a while in the morning sunlight. She hated waking up, but if she had to, that’s the way she would want to do it. 

Rays of sun filtered through the curtains and onto her face as it became clear that Y/N wasn’t going back to sleep any time soon. Not wanting to lounge around in Harry’s loft all day, she rolled out of bed before turning around to make the covers all nice and neat again like no one had even slept there.

It felt odd to wander around his kitchen without him, but she helped herself to coffee and breakfast nonetheless. Gazing over at his wall of pictures and books, she couldn’t help but daydream of lounging on the couch or the bed, asking Harry about each and every one and the story behind them. The pictures would probably be fun memories, but she imagined the books would make him think of something deeper. And she wanted to know that deeper side to him.

Although she was alone, she couldn't help but smile. This is what every morning could be like. Except potentially even better. If they were going to be together for real, they could wake up next to each other slowly. Perhaps they’d take all the time in the world to trade kisses and touches. Giggle over breakfast, maybe even read the newspaper together. 

They had settled into a nice little rhythm in the past week, making it remarkably easy to have these daydreams. While Harry was downstairs working, Y/N would be upstairs applying for jobs. Or sometimes Niall would come up before or after his own shift to chat. When Harry was performing, Y/N was there at her signature table watching him with wide eyes. In between, they spent time writing lyrics and songs together on his bed, talking about the future, or teasing each other over nothing. She had declared her intentions to read through his entire library, but so far she had only made it through two books before getting distracted by Harry, who was usually making heart eyes at her. It had all become utterly domestic, and she was absolutely basking in the light of it all. 

After eating, she got dressed and bounced her way down the stairs into the bar. It was still early, so Harry was cleaning and organizing the space before any patrons came in. It also meant that there was no one else around, and Y/N could go right up to him and kiss him on the lips, lingering for a tad bit longer than she might’ve if customers (or Niall) were around. 

“Well good morning to you too, darling,” he said with a cheeky smile on his face. “Is this how I’m going to get greeted every morning when you stay over? Because I have absolutely no complaints about that.” 

“We’ll see,” she teased in return. “Maybe if you stayed in bed a little longer you’d get an even nicer wake up.” 

Harry looked at her with his brows raised, but she just kept walking towards the middle of the room and searched through her purse.

“So where are you off to? Wanted to spend the afternoon together,” he pouted.

Y/N sighed. “Don’t worry H, I won't be gone long. Just need to stop back home to shower and pick up something nice to wear tonight.” 

He walked out from behind the bar, reaching out his arms to draw her in from around her waist.

“Don’ have to wear anything at all.” He tried to kiss her, but her giggles made it difficult.

“In your dreams!” 

Harry mocked shock. “Are you a mind reader? Just had that dream the other night and I coulda sworn someone was listenin’ in.”

Rolling her eyes, Y/N took a step away from Harry and pulled out her car keys. 

“I’ll be back later,” she promised, turning around and walking towards the exit.

He gave her bottom a little pat as she left. It was true that he thought she had a cute bum, but more than anything he loved the little squeak she would release when he did that. 

Harry went back to work with thoughts of Y/N in his mind and a love drunk look on his face. He really couldn’t believe that he had gotten so lucky. That after so many years of knowing her closely, but pining for her from afar, he was finally getting his chance with Y/N. 

The last week had felt like pure bliss to him. Having her around was like having a sparkling orb constantly floating around and beaming rays of sun. She made him smile. She made him think. She made him believe in himself in a way that no one else could. And yeah, sometimes she had really strong opinions, was a bit grumpy, or distracted him from his work, but life alongside a sunflower is always going to involve some shade.

And most of those distractions were his own fault, honestly. It’s the way he looks at her when she’s squinting her eyes at her computer screen, or how his mind wanders when he hears her half of a phone interview. When she’s sitting tall and speaking confidently, the pure power she exudes as such a strong woman was so insanely attractive to him. And when they were rolling around in the sheets, when she let him get a taste of her sweetness or she gave him a blowie, the fact that she was so willingly and consciously handing over that power to him made his spine tingle.

On the occasion that he was able to keep his mind clear, to not get distracted and feel his pants tightening, they talked about his own career. She never once made him feel anything but supported when it came to his music. She was right there with him jumping for joy after each time he had a chat with Jeff or his colleagues, even if she didn’t understand what was really happening. 

There were some nerves when he thought about the prospect of getting signed with Jeff, though. It would probably involve a move to LA. Which would mean being apart from Y/N until or unless she decided to make the same move herself. And he would never even think of asking her to make the move just for him or to narrow her job search just to give him a sense of peace. He wanted her to live her dreams and find success almost more than he wanted that for himself.

Of course, if she was still concerned about getting stuck in this town, Harry wouldn’t be opposed to taking her with him either.

**.** **.** **.**

When Y/N had come up the stairs a few minutes ago, Harry was so enraptured by her that he almost let the tomato sauce burn on the stove. He just couldn’t stop staring. She was wearing a light and flowy little dress which hugged her in all the best ways, and his mouth was already watering for her. 

The music he had going in the background didn’t help his concentration either, and Y/N had to practically yell at him when she started smelling something burning. 

“‘S alright doll,” he promised. “Here, have a taste.” He lifted a spoonful of the sauce up to her mouth and almost went hard just at the sight of her satisfied face and soft moan when she tasted. He couldn’t help but lean down and kiss her lips ever so lightly. 

Breaking a smile, she couldn’t help but tease.“I should let you cook for me every night.”

Y/N laughed, lips still so close to Harry’s he swore he could feel their pillowy softness grazing on his skin. He closed the remaining gap, taking her bottom lip between his teeth and nibbling just enough to hear her give a short little gasp. 

He released her lip, focusing back on the task at hand of making dinner for their date night. Harry hadn’t given Y/N a solid reason why this would be a good night for a stay at home date, but he just had a feeling in his gut that he was going to have something to celebrate a little later on. 

“This makes you look cute,” she said, pulling at the side of his ‘kiss the cook’ apron.

He continued stirring, but with a smirk on his face. “I’d like to think that  _ I’m  _ the one that makes the  _ apron  _ look cute, thank you very much.” He gave the sauce another taste, and then turned the stove off. 

According to his timer, he still had a few minutes before the pasta was done. The song playing from his speakers was reminding him of spring-time rain, and the girl in his kitchen was like the fresh air coming in through the windows. 

Y/N had walked back over to the couch, where she was opening up her laptop again, no doubt to check on an application or schedule another phone interview. 

“Hey, none o’ that; this is date night” he said, pointing at her with the spoon he had just been using. 

Unfortunately, she wasn’t so interested in what he had to say after sauce came flying off the spoon and landing all around his kitchen. 

“Harry!” 

He looked around at the red splatters now on his floor, countertops and cabinets, and just shrugged. 

“Save some for later,” he teased.

Shaking her head, she stood up and walked back towards him, pushing him out of the way in favor of the cabinet beneath the sink where he kept his (limited) cleaning supplies. But as soon as he realized what she was doing, he stuck out his leg to block her. 

“Harry! I’m just trying to help you.” 

She punctuated her statement with a little bit of a stomp and cute little pout. 

Harry couldn’t help but lean forward and take her pouty bottom lip between his own. 

“Hey,” he whispered, lips ghosting along hers. “This is a date night. ‘M trying to treat ya nice and take care of ya.” He saw her start to open her mouth, but he cut her off. “I know ya don’t need it. Can take care of yourself. But I just wanna take care of ya a little bit, ok?”

“Ok,” she whispered back.

“Good. Now, we have a few minutes before the pasta is done, and one of my favorite songs just started playing, so give me your hand and dance with me.”

He took one of her hands in his own and placed the other at the small of her back, and pulled her along with him as he danced around his kitchen. At first she was blushing in that cute way she does when he gets too sweet on her. But soon enough she was throwing her head back laughing at his jokes and his clumsy feet. 

The song changed to something softer and slower, and Y/N tried to pull away but Harry only brought her in closer, dropping his leading hand so they were now both resting low on her waist. He let his thumbs rub a soft pattern through the fabric of her dress, and leaned his forehead against hers. 

For a while they were just quiet. Caught up in the moment and in being so close with each other. It was hard for him to look away from her beautiful eyes as they searched his own. 

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“For what?”

“For... being you. For being my Sunflower.” 

It was Y/N who leaned forward this time, closing her eyes and bringing him in for a gentle kiss. 

“Of course, H. Wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.”

They stood there for a moment, reveling in each other’s affection. And how could they not? With the sun setting outside his window and candles lit on the table, waiting for them to sit down with their dinner, the scene was like something out of a movie. 

But they were abruptly interrupted as the song cut out part way through and an alarm blared in its place. 

Harry ran off to his phone, silencing the noise.

“Pasta’s ready,” he offered with a smile. 

Y/N giggled a bit, shaking her head as she picked up her phone from the couch and found her seat at the table. Sitting there, watching him mix the pasta with the sauce, she felt a bit dizzy. Her entire brain was swimming with thoughts of Harry. 

“Dinner is served, m’lady.” He served her with his other hand behind his back and a smirk on his face.

“Thank you, m’lord,” she giggled.

It was just pasta and a salad, but the fact that Harry had cooked for her was making her heart melt. No boy had ever done that for her before. And this was all his idea too. 

“Mmm, not a bad cook. Might let you do this for me again some time,” she teased.

She expected Harry to come back at her with some banter, but he just responded “Any time, darling. Whenever you want.”

The sun was setting through the loft window, making Harry’s skin look even more golden than usual. His green eyes sparkled, too, but she wasn’t sure if that was just because of the sun. 

“Tell me something I don’t already know,” he asked.

Y/N raised her brow. “About me?”

“Yeah. I feel like... I mean I’ve known you for so long but the last few years... there have to be some new things. I want to know you, all of you.”

It took a minute, but Y/N eventually thought of a few things to share as they ate together. Funny stories from college or experiences in past jobs. Harry shared his own newer experiences too. He told her about his favorite authors, and she raved about the music she loved. And she realized he was right, a lot had happened in the last few years. And this was the perfect opportunity to get to know each other better. Deeper. 

About halfway through eating, Y/N saw her phone light up and vibrate three times in a row. With an apologetic look to Harry she picked it up, expecting a series of texts from her mother or unnecessary notifications about people she forgot existed on Instagram. But when she read the subject line of the first email, she dropped her fork onto her plate in shock. Harry jumped a bit at the noise.

“What is it? Is everything ok?!”

Harry sounded panicked, but Y/N was still frozen. After a moment she took a deep breath, opening up the emails and reading through the whole thing. She could feel the table moving as he shook his leg, anxiously waiting, probably confused as her facial expression changed a few times over.

“Darling?”

Y/N looked up at Harry. She didn’t know how to tell him what she had just read, couldn’t figure out how to process all the things swirling through her mind. Instead, she just passed her phone over the table to Harry to let him see it for himself.

His brows were furrowed when he first grabbed the phone, but almost instantly his eyes went wide.

“Y/N!! You got the job!!!” He was ecstatic, practically screaming even though she was only a few feet away. It meant a lot that he was so excited and supportive, but Y/N wasn’t sure how long that would last.

“Keep reading,” she said quietly.

He gave her a confused look before looking back at the screen. She looked up at the ceiling or down at her fingernails while he read, unsure of what his response would be.

“Babe,” he said softly, trying to get her attention. 

Hesitantly, she awaited his response.

“This is amazing, I don’t understand why you’re so upset? They liked you at the interview last week and offered you the job.”

“They didn’t just offer me the job though!” she snapped. “They offered me a job in their HQ. In LA. Los Angeles, Harry. That’s so far from here.”

“Well, yeah. But that’s a good thing right? You’re getting out of here.”

She swallowed hard and took a breath. “But you’re not.”

It was quiet for a moment as they let her words sink in. Y/N was getting out, the interview that she thought she completely bombed was actually successful. The job was great, the pay was great, the benefits were going to be great. But Harry would be staying behind.

“Maybe...maybe not right away. But I will,” he tried to assure her.”

“But we don’t know when. Or where.”

Harry put down the phone and grabbed Y/N by the hand softly, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. It helped to soothe her a bit, but when she made eye contact with him again she could feel her emotions rising.

“I don’t want to lose you, Harry.”

He shook his head. “No one said anything about losing me. I’m right here with you.”

“No, you don’t understand, H. This past week, it’s been...” She didn’t finish the sentence, but she didn’t need to fill in the blank for him.

“Darling, look at me. I care about you so fucking much. You have no idea. I care about you  _ so  _ much that I could never let you turn this job down. Of course I want to be able to keep you all to myself, all the time. But that’s not how this works. You need to stand tall. You’ve done it before, and you’ll do it again.”

“But what about us?”

Harry nodded his head, thinking for a moment. “We....we’ll be alright. I promise. We’ll figure something out. But I can’t let you stay behind for me,” he spoke softly. “I mean imagine if you were sitting here telling me you wanted to turn down a job for some other guy? I’d want to smack some sense into you. It’s that ridiculous.”

She couldn’t help but giggle at that. 

“So long distance then?” she asked.

Harry shrugged. “If that’s what it has to be.”

She gave a non-committal hum.

“By the way,” he started. “I have a gift for you.”

“What’s that?”

“Well it’s... I have to show it to you.” Harry looked down at his watch, smiling. “Come on, let’s go downstairs. I’ll clean this up later.”

Y/N followed him, hand still clasped tightly by his. She still couldn’t figure out how Harry could be so casual about all of this. Long distance would be rough. They hadn’t been together very long. It felt like a recipe for disaster, honestly.

“Get me one of her usuals, Ni,” Harry said, tapping on the top of the bar to get Niall’s attention.

He groaned loudly from behind the bar, but poured the drink anyway. “You keep giving away free drinks and ‘m gonna havta tell the boss, mate,” he teased, placing the glass on the counter.

“I’m sorry. You can tell him that all those $7 drinks we sell which only cost $2 from the distributor are missing because I gave them to my girlfriend.”

Niall rolled his eyes before turning back to a customer at the other end of the bar.

Y/N looked at Harry with a smile, feeling her cheeks starting to turn red. “Girlfriend?”

“Yeah, I mean...yeah.” He looked deep into her eyes, dimples popping in his cheeks.

“I like that.”

“Me too.” Harry leaned down, kissing her lightly. It was short, too short. His lips lingered practically touching her own for far too long, teasing her.

She closed the distance between them again.

“‘Ey! Lovebird!” Niall called to Harry. “Get ‘yer ass up on the stage already, will ya? Don’t need to see that shite.”

They both giggled as Y/N grabbed her drink and they walked together over to her table. 

“What about my gift?”

“You’ll see, darling,” he promised. Harry released her hand and placed it on the table in front of her, giving a soft kiss to the top of her head before taking his place on the stage.

Y/N looked around the bar while Harry got himself set up. Sure enough, Jeff was sitting at the back of the room with folders full of papers. She had never noticed him bring so many documents with him before, and she couldn’t figure out for the life of her imagine trying to do actual business in this bar.

Her attention was drawn away quickly as Harry started to perform his set. None of the songs themselves were new for him, but he mixed up the order and threw in a few older ones that Y/N had never heard from him before. He sounded really great, and honestly if this was her present she was absolutely satisfied with that. 

“Alright,” Harry started from up on the stage. “This next song will be my last of the night. Thank you so much for listening. Or tolerating me, I suppose. This is a special song that I wrote for a very special person. Thank you for being my Sunflower.” 

She knew she was turning bright red, could practically feel Niall’s eyes burning into her. But found that she really didn’t care. When Harry started singing, she could feel her heart rate speeding up in the best way. She listened to every word he sang and slowly started to recognize some of them from his lyric journals. At the time she had read them, she had no idea they were about her.

Most nights, Harry would give a quick thank you before coming down to hug her. But all Y/N wanted was to run up to him and give him the best kiss of his life. She wanted to be surrounded by him in every way possible, and she couldn’t wait.

So she did. And Harry didn’t really seem all that surprised, just smiled and gave a little chuckle into the kiss before they pulled apart again.

“You wrote me a song,” she said softly.

“Yeah, yeah I did.”

She brought one hand up to cradle the side of his face as she sighed.

“Thank you.”

“For the song?” he asked.

“No, for letting me be your Sunflower.”

They were caught up in the moment, completely oblivious to anything going on around them. So Y/N jumped when she heard someone clearing their throat behind them. It was Jeff and she immediately turned away from him, embarrassed that he had seen all that. 

“Don’t mean to interrupt,” he started. “But I have something you might want to see.” 

Harry looked down at her and Y/N nodded before he followed Jeff to the table in the back. 

Leaving them to their business, she made her way over to the bar where Niall was just finishing up making a couple of drinks for one of their regulars. She placed her empty glass on the bar, catching Niall’s attention.

“Jeez, another one? Yer killin’ me business here.”

Y/N rolled her eyes as Niall turned around to get her a refill. Niall was always such a tease, but she knew it came from a place of love. Or at least she liked to think so.

“Pretty good set tonight, don’t you think?” she asked.

Niall let out a breathy laugh. “That last song is all he’s been talking about for a week and half. Y’got him whipped, you do.”

“You think so?” she giggled.

He nodded. “I’ve known that guy for a year now. Never seen a bartender so love drunk and still able to make tips like he does.”

“I find that hard to believe,” she started. “You’re pretty keen on Harry yourself and you still manage to make tips.”

“Oh, piss off,” he laughed. 

She chuckled a bit before looking over her shoulder at Jeff’s usual table. He had all kinds of papers spread out around him and Harry. Both looked very focused before they broke out in a little laugh together. 

“Yer boyfriend’s been getting stalked by that fella,” Niall said as he started wiping down the area behind the bar again. 

“My boyfriend...” she said softly, testing the way the word felt in her mouth. She decided pretty quickly that it felt perfect.

Niall chuckled a bit. “Took ya long enough to get together,” he teased.

Tilting her head and furrowing her brows, Y/N looked at Niall, confused. “What do you mean?”

“That boy has been head over heels for ya since the day you walked in here, I reckon.”

“You really think so?”

“Oh my fuck, yer both so daft.” Niall let out an exasperated sigh before he continued. “Y’both been staring at each other with hearts in yer eyes for weeks now. Been right shite for business.”

Niall was nothing if not honest. 

“Did he tell you...?”

He rolled his eyes before throwing the bar rag he had been using into the laundry basket and turning his attention back to Y/N. 

“That boy’s been talking me ear off for ages now,” he told her. “I asked him about the game yesterday and he went on about watching it with you.”

“You’re just jealous he wasn’t watching it with you,” she teased back. 

“Hey now, be nice or I’ll start chargin’ ya for those drinks.” Niall flashed her a smile before being called back to the other end of the bar for an order. 

**.** **.** **.**

She was so cute, Harry almost didn’t wake her.

Almost. But not even the way her eyelashes rested so softly on her cheeks, or how her lips hung slightly open and a little puffy could deter Harry from waking her up and telling her the good news. Still, though, he did it gently.

“Darling, wake up,” he whispered. He gave a soft kiss to her forehead, smiling as her brows furrowed and her skin crinkled beneath his lips. 

“Mmmm,” she whined.

Harry let out a breathy laugh. “Y/N, wake up. I have some good news. I promise.” Lightly he placed his hand on her shoulder, shaking her just a bit.

Her eyes flickered open with a pout on her lips. “Sorry I fell asleep,” she said softly. “Y’took so long downstairs. And your bed is so cozy.” She nuzzled further into his pillow and blanket with a smile.

“I know, m’sorry I took so long. But it was for a good reason.”

“Wha’s tha?” she mumbled, closing her eyes again.

He brought his knuckle up to his mouth and bit down, leg shaking with excitement. It was hard to hold it back when he just wanted to scream it from the rooftops.

“Y/N,” he said through a deep exhale. “I got signed.”

“WHAT?!” She shot straight up in bed, only to realize she sat up too quickly and she was left dizzy. 

Blinking her eyes, she caught her balance when Harry brought a hand to her back. 

“Y’ok darling?”

“Yes, yes. I’m fine. But...wait, say that again.”

Harry’s smile was wider than he ever thought possible. “Jeff signed me. For real. He’s gonna help me get into festivals and eventually get a record deal. But... there was one condition.”

His smile faltered just a bit as he looked down at his lap and away from Y/N.

“Well what is it?” He saw her swallow hard.

He wanted so badly to appear upset, but he just couldn’t make that happen when he was so damn excited. 

“I have to move to LA.”

“Harry!” Y/N pushed him back a bit from the center of his chest. She could hardly believe it.

“Heyyyy,” he whined, rubbing the spot on his chest. “That’s not nice.” 

She rolled her eyes. “But he signed you?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Really really.”

She searched his eyes for any sign that he was playing with her, but she found none. “We’re going to LA!”

“Yeah, we’re going to LA, Sunflower.”

He looked into her eyes for a moment, searching for any hesitation but finding none. She was just as excited as he was. Both of them were getting out of this town and getting closer to their dreams. And they were moving onto something new, together.

Slowly, her hand snaked its way into his hair, scratching at his scalp just a bit. Harry hummed in response, moving his hand from her back down to her waist and closing his eyes.

“Together,” she whispered.

“Together.”

They were so in sync with each other in that moment that it was impossible to tell who initiated the kiss. Their lips met, working together in slow and languid movements, savoring the moment. Harry was just so proud of Y/N and everything that she had accomplished, and she didn’t need to say it for him to know that she felt the same about him. 

When he was thinking of this moment downstairs, he had expected fast movements fueled by excitement. And it’s not that they weren’t excited, more that they were just happy and proud. Instead of fireworks behind his eyes, he saw a flower blooming under a blue sky, bright rays of sun shining down on the both of them. 

It wasn’t long before Harry leaned over and helped Y/N adjust her body so she was lying beneath him, head on his pillows. Their lips hardly broke away from one another. Her fingers grasped tighter into his hair and his own squeezed into the plush skin of her hips. 

Closer. He needed to be closer.

She whined when he moved his lips away from hers, but it was quickly replaced with a small gasp as he made his way to her neck. He left hot, open kisses to her skin on the column of her throat. One of his hands slid up her body, grabbing onto her breast as he started sucking hard at the skin of her throat. He heard a small mewl from her lips before he licked the blooming bruise and blowing on it lightly to soothe the area. 

“So proud of you, H,” she spoke, just barely above a whisper. 

Looking into her now hooded eyes, he sighed. “Not nearly as proud as I am of you, darling.”

She blushed, and he took the opportunity to return to his work. 

He continued trailing his mouth down to her collar bone, her sternum, the center of her chest, pulling her dress down along with him until there was too much tension on the fabric. 

“Le’s get this off’ya,” he said, sitting up and helping her lift the dress over her head and off of her body. 

Sitting back on his knees, he took just a moment to admire her. He’d seen her body a few times now, but that didn’t seem to change the way he felt. She wore a cute lacy bra and he couldn’t decide if he would rather rip the thing off of her or watch as the straps fell so he could delicately remove it from her body. 

“Harryyyyy,” she whined, body squirming a bit beneath him. 

He shook his head, bringing himself back into the moment and leaning back down to kiss her deep and with more force than before.

“Yer so fuckin’ beautiful,” he told her between kisses. “Wanna love on every single inch o’ya.” 

“Do it,” she said softly. And that was all the motivation he needed.

He trailed his lips back down to her chest where he had left off and slid one hand underneath her back. Deftly he unhooked her bra, throwing it aside without a second thought. He took his time then, kissing and licking and suckling into her newly exposed skin, doing his best not to miss a single perfect spot. Her skin was soft everywhere, but the skin on her boobs was something else entirely. If he wasn’t careful, he knew he could spend hours at a time just on this one area of her body. But there was somewhere else he wanted to be even more.

Backing away from her, he blew cool air on her sensitive nipples, now wet from his own doing. He could feel her shiver beneath him, which only made him smirk and pop a dimple before refocusing his energy. 

Again, he made his way down her body with kisses, doing his best to appreciate every bit of her that he could until he was down low on her tummy. He teased her, rubbing his fingers across the upper hem of her panties before kissing right over the little bow in the center. 

Y/N’s hands had migrated from his back around to his hair again as he lowered himself. She gave just a little tug accompanied by the quietest of whimpers, showing her impatience as he went.

He let out a little laugh. “Come on now, gotta be patient. Be a good girl for me, now,” he teased.

The whine she let out at those words went straight to his dick, hardening quickly in his pants. She was such a good girl, always. And he had no problem reminding her of it at every opportunity, especially if he got that kind of reaction every time.

He spread out his fingers and dragged his hand down her body, starting as high up on her chest as he could reach and making his way at a pace that was near torture for both of them. But the goosebumps left in his wake were worth it. 

When his hand reached her panties he used only one finger, teasing her clit ever so lightly before moving down lower. He could feel that she was already wet, although not entirely soaked through.

“Oh, baby. All this for me?” 

He looked up at her for confirmation, but her eyes were already closed tight as she nodded.

“Yes, for you. Always you,” she said with a breathy voice.

“Tha’s what I like to hear. So wet for daddy.” 

He practically moaned at the thought. Just realizing he had this much effect made him crazy for her. 

His hands moved apart, grasping onto her upper thighs as he left open mouthed kisses over the fabric of her panties. Her smell was intoxicating; he wanted to drown in it if he could. When his mouth reached her clit, he stuck out his tongue, applying the perfect amount of pressure. From above him he heard one of her gasps, and he knew she was already entirely sensitive. 

“C’mon, lemme see ya,” he said, pulling her panties down her legs and away from her body before throwing them aside to join her other clothing.

He looked down at her, so beautiful and completely exposed for him. All for him, only him, she would remind him often. Still, he couldn’t believe he was so lucky. She had as much power over him as she wanted, but time and time again she handed it over to him, trusting him to make her feel good and take care of her. 

A wave came over him, breaking up his thoughts and leaving him only wanting to ravage her. He wanted to be completely enveloped by her: her body, her smell, her sweet juices, her little noises. 

He wanted her so bad; he could’ve sworn he almost growled.

Kissing over her mound, he made quick time while still appreciating every bit of newly exposed skin that he could. But he was getting so close to where he wanted to be most, where she wanted him most, he could hardly hold back any longer.

So he didn’t.

He dove in, taking her clit between his lips without any precursor. Sucking hard, his eyes squeezed closed and nose pressing into the skin above. He let his hands blindly explore her upper body as he worked down below, still unable to get enough of her as he swirled his tongue around her sensitive nub. 

“Harryyyy,” she whined.

And fuck if that didn’t make him absolutely feral.

With her clit still between his lips, he hummed deeply, knowing the effect it would have on her. And he was proved right as she continued to let out little sounds from above him, legs starting to wiggle out of pleasure and impatience. 

Finally, he released her clit from his mouth, but not from his attention. He brought one of her legs over his shoulder so his arm could swing around to find proper purchase, reaching her best spot. Using two fingers, he rubbed circles into the area, lightly but relentlessly. 

With his other hand he took one finger and trailed down between her folds, teasing lightly at her opening. When he pulled his finger back and saw the string of her wetness connecting it to her, his eyes practically rolled into the back of his head.

“Fuck’s sake,” he mumbled, just loud enough for her to hear him.

He sucked her folds into his mouth, first one side and then the other, still trying to keep his promise of appreciating every bit of her that she would let him. And her taste. Fuck, her taste. She was always so sweet but something tonight just seemed out of this world. If his head was stuck down there forever, well he thinks he would probably be pretty happy about that. He would be content to stay right there until he devoured her completely.

His two fingers above stopped with their circles and instead split to hold her open to him. The most beautiful sight he had ever seen. With his tongue flat, he licked one long stripe from the bottom of her hole all the way to her clit, where he danced it around in a few circles before letting it go.

And he could’ve gone back to rubbing circles on her clit, but he would so much rather watch as his first finger sunk into her deeply. He took it slow, knowing that’s how she liked it best (at least to start with). And he knew she was enjoying it because she bent her knees, wrapped her legs around his back, letting her fingers in his hair pull even tighter. 

He pumped his finger in and out before adding a second one. And that’s when he felt just how tight she really was. Bringing both fingers out of her for a moment, he spread them apart to admire how her wetness shined in the light before bringing them to his mouth and moaning around the taste. 

But she whined again, lifting her hips a bit to try and get contact with him. 

“Alright, baby. I’m right here. You’re ok. Just let me take care of you now,” he told her through a bit of a chuckle.

“ _ Please,”  _ she begged. 

Again, he dipped his fingers inside of her, pumping at a steady and relentless pace. From above him he could hear her whimpering in relief at the contact. Lowering his head, he took her clit back into his mouth, playing with it while still working her with his fingers. He could feel as her whole body started to squirm, muscles flexing and relaxing all over as she tried to regain control. 

Her walls were already squeezing his fingers tight, and she was getting close to her high. He could hear her panting above him at every thrust. Then, all in one motion, he turned his finger, palm up, and stroked that special spot inside of her, while at the same time humming low around her clit in his mouth.

And that’s when she lost it.

It seemed like she was trying to say something between her breaths and pants and moans and gasps, but it all came out completely garbled in the most beautiful way. He worked her through it, never letting up no matter how badly he just wanted to pause and gaze at her and the faces she was making. 

Eventually, she came down from her high and used her hand in his hair to push him away from where she was so sensitive. 

“Fuck, H,” she said through a breath and a bit of a giggle.

As he crawled up her body to join her on the pillow, she saw his mouth and chin sparkling from her wetness. He seemed to notice at the same time that he was covered in her, so he wiped his face with the back of his hand. But that only made her whine again.

“Such a good girl for me,” he told her. “Came so fucking hard on m’fingers and m’mouth.” 

Still panting, all she could really do was nod. She was still recovering, sensitive and catching her breath, but she needed him close and she needed him now.

Turning on her side, Y/N watched as he stood up and took off his clothes, first pulling his shirt over his head and then unzipping his pants and letting them drop to the floor. He was harder than she had ever seen from beneath his boxers. Even a little dark spot near his head, telling her that he was so riled up he was leaking precum again.

She bit her lip, dragging her eyes up his body before reaching the smirk on his face.

“Like whatcha see, baby,?” he teased.

Again she nodded quickly. 

Harry took a few steps towards her, close enough that she could reach out and graze her fingers over his length through the thin fabric. 

“Fuck babe. Think I might blow as soon as y’put me in yer mouth.”

She looked up at him from beneath hooded eyelids.

“So don’t get in my mouth.”

“What?”

“Need you Harry, need you now” she whined, grabbing onto the elastic at the top of his boxers and pulling him in closer to her. 

His hips were nearly level with her face, and she was able to lean forward just the tiniest bit and give a few kisses to his hard cock. 

“Fuck. Y’sure?”

“Harryyyy, please.”

“Ok, ok,” he said, turning around looking for the drawer that he kept his condoms in.

“Wait,” she stopped him. 

He turned around, eyebrow lifted and unsure of what was happening.

“You’re still clean, right?”

He laughed. “Babe, I was clean when you asked me three days ago and unless there’s something you aren’t telling me, that hasn’t changed.”

“Then c’mere. Want you close. Wanna feel you.”

Harry let out a heavy breath. He didn’t need to be asked twice.

“Needy tonight, aren’t ya.” 

She just nodded, eyes focused back at his hips as he came toward her. 

Slowly, he pulled the last piece of clothing off of his body and let it join the heap of fabric on the floor. His cock stood straight up, hard and veiny and ready to explode. She saw how deeply red his tip was and knew that he wouldn’t last long, so she would have to make the best of it. 

Reaching out, she gave him one soft stroke, and then another, and another, stopping only to hear him let out a ‘hmph’. She raised her forehead, reminding him of what was to come.

“Right, right,” he said, mostly to himself.

She stayed still as he climbed over her, his body radiating heat and sticky with sweat already. Her hands went straight to his chest, stroking up and down his muscular form before rubbing over his shoulders. With one hand at the nape of his neck and the other at the top of his back, she pulled him in for another kiss. 

“More,” she whined when he moved his body, disconnecting their lips but just barely.

“Shh, baby. I’m trying to give y’more. Gonna take good care of you,” he promised.

His breath fanned out over her lips, and she struggled to keep her eyes open. But she wanted so badly to feel connected with him, to look into his eyes as he carefully pressed his hips into her and let out a deep sigh. It worked for a moment, until he couldn’t take it any longer and let his head drop down between his shoulders.

“Fuck, so fucking tight fo’ me.”

“Mmmm,” Y/N whined in agreement.

He started to pull back, setting a pace of slow and long thrusts into her. It took a few for her body to adjust, but she would never give up the way he made her feel so  _ full.  _

Harry dropped down to his forearms and shifted to put all his weight onto one side. With the other hand, he reached up, brushing Y/N’s hair back from her forehead where it was starting to stick from sweat. He gave her a soft kiss there, and she could just barely feel the whiskers he was growing around his mouth.

“Closer,” she moaned.

She lifted her hips to meet his on every thrust, wanting impossibly  _ more _ . He just felt so good, stroking all the best spots inside of her. She could hear the bed creaking a bit at his movements, but she couldn't find it in herself to care if Niall could hear from downstairs or not. Nothing else mattered outside of the little bubble the two of them had created. The entire world could disintegrate around them, and she probably wouldn’t even notice. 

Her entire body felt like it was on fire as she writhed beneath him. She left marks on his back, nails trying to grasp onto anything to make her feel grounded in that moment.

“Take me so well,” he praised, mouth now tucked into her neck as he panted across her skin. “Such a good fucking girl for me.”

At that she couldn’t help but let out a loud moan. 

After a moment, he pulled out, leaving her to whine at the sudden loss.

“I know, darlin’. But if I keep going I’m not gonna last.”

All she could do was pout and whine again. She wanted him back. Wanted to feel close to him and  _ full.  _ Even just lying there she could feel herself clenching around nothing after he pulled out.

“Harryyy,” she whined.

He smirked. “Needy girl tonight, aren’t ya?” He paused for a moment, thinking over their options. “Alright then, how about m’thigh?” 

Her eyes lit up at the offer, and she nodded her head. He flopped back down onto the bed, leaning against the wall and bending one of his knees up. She had never done this before, ridden someone’s thigh. Didn’t even know she wanted to until it was offered up just now.

“What’re y’waitin’ for?”

Swinging one leg over his, she hovered just above the skin of his pretty upper thigh.

“Just...haven’ done this before is all.”

“Baby, I know for a fact you’ve done this with a pillow before; y’told me a few days ago. ‘S the same thing, just better.”

Silently, she nodded, dropping herself down to rest on Harry’s thigh. It became clear immediately that she was soaking wet, and soon his thigh would be dripping with her juices as well. His hands came to rest on her hips and gave her the extra bit of support she needed.

When she made her first movement, all she could do was gasp. 

“I know baby. Take what y’need from me. Get me all nice and wet,” he egged her on.

It took a few tries to get the exact right angle, but once she did it was impossible to hold back. She rested her hands on his shoulder for leverage as she rocked back and forth over him. He was right, this was so much better than the pillow. 

She was feeling so insanely sensitive now, not sure how much longer she could go without having him inside of her again. Dropping her head down to his neck, she whispered her feelings in between a chorus of whimpers and whines.

“Fuck, babe,” Harry said through an exasperated sigh. “Gotta get back in ya, fuck.” 

Nodding quickly, Y/N dismounted his thigh.

“C’mon, up and over,” he instructed.

Doing as she was told, she got up on her hands and knees, pushing back into Harry and begging for some kind of contact. She could feel his hand start at the bottom of her spine, pushing just enough to get her to lower onto her elbows as he stroked up her entire back. Finally he grabbed onto a makeshift ponytail in her hair, tugging only lightly.

Without any other warning he thrust back into her, cock slamming as far as it could reach. The sound of his balls smacking against her got louder as he picked up the pace. She bit into the sheets in front of her, trying somehow to contain herself. 

“Don’t,” he groaned. “Wanna hear ya, let me hear ya.”

And right when she released the blankets from her mouth, his other hand slapped against her ass, making her squeal and jump forward a bit. It was more that it was loud rather than painful, but they both seemed to love it nonetheless. 

“Ass’s turnin’ red fo’ me, babe,” he grunted between thrusts.

“For you,” she whined.

“For who?” Harry prompted, his free hand now rubbing at her ass cheek where it was starting to turn red. 

“Daddy, for Daddy!” she corrected as his pace only quickened.

“Tha’s right for daddy. Good fuckin’-” he cut himself off, groaning as he tried his best to hold himself back and not let his release hit quite yet. He needed it to last a little longer. “Good girl,” he finished. 

His hand moved from from her butt around to her front as he let his body drape over hers. Quickly he found her clit and started rubbing, sending chills down her spine.

“Close!” she practically screamed. “‘M close, please.”

“Shit,” he muttered to himself under his breath. “Get on yer back.”

Y/N did as she was told, letting her head drop back onto the soft bed. He grabbed at her ankles and pushed her legs up, knees to her chest and legs over his shoulders, before sinking back into her.

“Ok, pet,” he said. “Now y’can cum. Gotta see...fuck. Gotta see y’face when you cum on m’cock.”

This was probably her favorite angle as she could feel him so deep she could’ve sworn he was in her tummy. She closed her eyes, head rocking from side to side and she felt herself building up towards her second orgasm of the night.

She thought she could hold off a little bit longer, make the moment last as best she could. But that went to hell when she felt his fingers back on her clit, rubbing figure eights in time with his thrusts. His hips knocked into her thighs, and she could hear how wet she was each time he slammed back into her.

“Fuck, Harry, fuck,” she muttered, unable to come up with any other words.

“C’mon baby. Cum for me, cum for daddy,” he encouraged her. He just needed her to cum one more time before he did.

And he almost made it. Just as she was hitting her high, walls squeezing around his cock and voice moaning out oohs and ahhs, he lost his control. She could feel him shooting his cum inside of her, the warmth spreading as he gave a few more thrusts before collapsing on top of her.

They laid there for a few minutes, or maybe longer, they couldn’t tell. Both were catching their breaths, trying to slow their heart rates back to normal and let their minds come back into the real world. 

“Y’too heavy. And sticky,” she complained. 

He just laughed and rolled his body, resting beside her. 

“So,” he started. “Excited to go to LA then?” he teased.

She shoved his chest, letting out an exasperated sigh. 

After a while, he turned to his side and gazed in her eyes. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“We did it,” she said, softly.

Harry nodded. “We did. Together.”

A strand of hair had fallen in front of her face, and he picked it up and moved it back behind her ear.

Harry closed his eyes, leaning down to kiss her again softly.

“Mmm,” he hummed against her lips. “My Sunflower.” 


End file.
